Aug 23, 2007

Renuzit: the Reckoning

At this very minute, the crazed neighbor across the hall is pitching a fit, yelping like a whipped dog and clapping maniacally.
The moon will be full in a few days, I believe.
She's better than the freaking Farmer's almanac, I tell you.

Speaking of which, not long ago, hearing a noise, I looked out of my peephole to find her door wide open.

She was lying prostrate across the hall, her feet in her own apartment, her head a foot from my threshold.
Then, without ceremony, she got up and went along her crazy way.

Anyway, the day after I completed my my stealth mission to replace the Renuzit and Miss Havisham flower arrangement in the hallway,
I came home to find the orchid still sitting where I had set it.

The new 12 dollar reed diffuser from Pier One...with which I had replaced the Renuzit, however, was gone.

I searched around the building and found it placed on a pile of trash a few feet away.
So that's how it's going to be, eh?

Bring it on, Banshee.


mrpeenee said...

I'm warning you, sweetie, even if she has dentures, these tough old bats can rip your throat out just like *that*. Especially the ones who imitate rugs. They're crafty.

Miss Janey said...

Careful, Jason. She will scratch you.

mrpeenee said...

I ran across this this morning. I can't comment on it, I'm too sad

mrpeenee said...

Sorry, I didn't realize the comment section would mess up the link. It's on my blog.