Dec 30, 2010

the year in deadly sins

1. Gluttony
November: That night I threw away the red velvet cake I'd baked...and ate an entire bowl of cream cheese frosting in one sitting.

2. Lust
January-December: All those long, lost, wasted hours of sifting through porn .

3. Greed
October: Spending my monthly salary on a trip to San Francisco (to see Peenee and the Golden gate). Worth every penny.

4. Pride
May, August, December: Former students constantly visiting me: two now with phds (!), four who are now coworkers, and well, hell, even the pregnant ones too.

5. Sloth
August: That migraine I got from spending 30 hours in bed, online. (refer to number 2)

6. Wrath
September: When the first new car I'd ever owned was destroyed by a driver under the influence.

7. Envy
December: Seeing three count 'em three cute gay couples blissfully shopping in Target last week. (ahem)
and you?

the new orleans sartorialist sans camera

Seen this morning on the streetcar :
50ish year old woman in rumpled dirty red baseball jacket, ratted up hair,
no makeup, yellow taffeta ballgown, white tulle underskirt, gold sequins.
Black crocs, white tube socks.

thought for the day

Dec 20, 2010

Inner Santa

So, well, I think I'm kind of nursing a bit of a holiday funk. It's probably just a spell of loneliness.
Who knows.
Sometimes I start thinking about how nice it'd be to get a xmas gift....or a kwanza gift...or a birthday gift...or a bat mitzvah gift...or some kind of gift someday, one day, you know,
from a boy.

Anyway, I figure since I am a boy, I can buy myself my own damned gifts, right?
So that's what I do.
Let's see what my inner boyfriend put in my Xmas stocking this year, shall we?

1. A "Fine Belgian Chocolate" Scrabble game (!) I saw it at Target and
had to buy it. I'll probably play a game by myself, and then eat the
consonants first. Finally, something useful to do with those extra x's.

2. Holy Ghost!'s new cd, which has only six tracks on it, two of them remixes, and three of which I already have. Still, I got it used and cheap.

3. a new cheap little digital camera to replace the one I destroyed by slamming a taxi door on it. Maybe I'll even work up the energy to read the manual.

4. A phrenology head, which honestly, I'd intended to give as a gift,
but may just keep myself. Is there a section on the head that signifies
wanting-to-keep-gifts-for-yourself, I wonder?

Anyway, all nice and all, but, if my inner boyfriend doesn't step it up, I'm going to have to break up with his broke ass.

That's all I'm saying.

thought for the day

Shamelessly stolen from Thombeau

Dec 19, 2010

Rufus, featuring Bok Choy

Last night was Dennis's holiday party. He rented out the big karaoke room at a Japanese place.

By the way, sake bombs and tempura at 10 pm is not a good idea for future reference.

The first (and last) time I did karaoke, apparently I gained something of a reputation (with my Peabo Bryson, Diana Ross, Foreigner medley).
Not sure if that was good or not.

I was forced to do a solo.
I declined all night, but then this is what was chosen for me:

Not to brag, but I think I might be just one gold sequined tube top and three sake bombs away from getting up on stage.

Unfortunately, instead of having Chaka up on the screen in her full glory, the state-of-the-art, straight-from Japan karaoke machine there shows postcard images of rural Japan:

pretty young Japanese girls coyly splashing water with their toes (Journey's Don't Stop Believin'), Mt. Fuji at sunset (Coolio's Gansta's Paradise), the bullet train. (Amazing Grace)

I had to sing Rufus while watching a panorama of bok choy fields.

Dec 17, 2010

thought for the day*


*Now tell Santa, what do you want for Xmas?

Dec 14, 2010

Overheard, Saturday

In patrician Southern drawl, one steely haired matron introduces herself to another (in the parlor of the above house):

"It's so nice to meet you. I live in the house where Jefferson Davis died,
you know."

(many thanks again to the eminently gracious and entertaining Nathan of Laurel Street for a wonderful tour of uptown this weekend)

Dec 8, 2010

"Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen"

just saw this Dior ad starring one my my girl crushes, Marion Cotillard on project rungay, using a song which I was just thinking about the other day, David Essex's "Rock On"

Just 'cause.

Dec 5, 2010

vicarious name dropping

Every other day, it seems, I'm getting some email from a friend which leaves me pea green with envy. Things like:

"Oh, Provence is just gorgeous in October", or "Oh, I just got back from Chik Fil-a", or
"Oh, I just had sex this decade."

This, however, from tonight, takes the cake:

"They came into our store in the quarter. It's funny too because they came in, and I think "oh, they surely look like David Bowie and Iman" but I didn't think it actually was them because I don't actually meet celebrities, well except that time I met Lindsay Lohan too, but that story is lame.

They were really down to earth and normal people. They said they got bored in Miami so flew out here.

I got kinda stupid when I realized they really were David Bowie and Iman. I couldn't talk completely and I failed to ask anything or get a picture taken or anything. But they stayed about an hour and talked to us. Just so you know, Iman is approximately 12 feet tall and David Bowie has the most attractive laugh ever."

thought for the day


Dec 2, 2010

qvc daddy

Ok, so I'm watching QVC.

While you people out there have attention spans that allow you to watch wonderful dramatic series and recurring comedies, my tiny mosquito-like brain can only bear to watch what requires the fewest number of brain cells possible.
It's sad.

So here I am with the high pitched drone of Isaac Mizrahi going on and on about khakis.
No need to watch that.

Whenever I hear Bradley Bayou, however, I let my finger linger on the clicker a bit.

Ok, I may even mouth a quiet, spontaneous "mmm. daddy" every now and then too.

I won't lie.

thought for the day

Nov 30, 2010

Xmas cheer

(or stuff I don't have, but wish I did)

Ornament with taxidermy feet

A blinking Rudolph wall lamp

Everything here

A tv dinner in blown glass

Vintage cardboard fireplace, the kind I remember as a kid. (sigh)

thought for the day

Nov 26, 2010


While at Target today, braving the crowds, I happened to see
Ryan Reynolds glaring at me from People's Sexiest Men with a current project to promote Alive issue

It looks like he's on the couch letting a side fart out there to me. I'm sure the doritos are just out of camera frame.

I mean, yes, he's got a great body, and I guess he's funny, but sexy he ain't. I mean really. But what do I know?
A cursory flip through the magazine made me groan aloud. Then again, I have to remember, this is the magazine who's put Tom Cruise there at least once.
So, being lazy, here's my attempt at NIHG's Sexiest Men Jason Can Think of Right Now.

I haven't put anyone on here I haven't already written about here. I'm just that lazy, but then so is People, don't you think?

This is by no means a definitive list. I could do this all day. Actually, I think I do do this all day. Still each of these I think, deserves the spot more than Mr. Morisette-Johansson up there.

Here they are, in vaguely chronological order. I've put together someone for every age, equal opportunity, that's what I'm saying.


the adorable Mark Ruffalo

the dreamy Mr. Franco

the sexy, sexy Tom Hardy
the sweet Charlie Cox

Nov 23, 2010

thought for the day

*and only one of my favorite songs of all time.

So, in a pique of delusion (?)....

tonight, I decided to compliment a (yet another) guy on his personal ad. He wrote back:

"Thanks for the compliment, but your not my type. I need to clean and get Thanksgiving stuff, but just opened this account, so I'm trying to figure it out. Seems a bit awkward; I've not done an edating site before.
You cooking for Tday?"

Not sure what to say to that.
Am I cooking? Hmmm....a bit of crow perhaps? That's about all.

Nov 20, 2010

lunch in the time of cholera

Thank goodness for facebook, otherwise I'd have cholera.
(or something)

So there's a "boil order" for the city today...again.
It's not the first time. Something about the power being off at the sewerage and water board or some such. Who knows.

All I know is that if we want to drink or brush our teeth, we need to bring it to a "roiling boil" for a full minute first, or risk disease.

The restaurant at which we (for my friend Carlos's birthday) ate for lunch, insisted that the iced tea had been made with "bottled water."
Tonight a friend of mine and I ventured out to one restaurant, only to find it closed. A sign in the window let us know the closure was due to this whole contaminated water stuff.
The restaurant we ended up at was open, and had a hand lettered sign insisting that their ice was "potable."

Of course I only found all of this out (after I'd brushed my teeth and taken a bath this morning, of course) by way multiple facebook postings. Seems the ban is still in effect until "further notice." How many days will this go on?

I swear, sometimes I think we're just one steel drum away from total Banana Republicanism around here. Maybe not even.

Nov 18, 2010

curbed appeal

Because I'm too lazy to even change the channel, whenever it's on, it's on HGTV.
I can't bear to watch the constant marathon of Househunters (a.k.a. "Rich People Bitching about Stainless Steel") but I do find myself drawn to Curb Appeal, in its newest incarnation.

Of course, that's mainly because of the host.

à la wikipedia:

"John Gidding is an American/Turkish architect, television actor and former fashion model.
Gidding was born in Istanbul, Turkey to an American father and a Turkish mother, where he lived until moving to the United States for college after attending Leysin American School in Leysin, Switzerland. He graduated from Yale University in 1999 with a BA in architecture, then the Harvard Graduate School of Design with a Masters in architecture"


Typing in his name at google, automatically, without prompting the following search topics pop up:
John Gidding Boyfriend
John Gidding Shirtless
John Gidding Married

Um. Seems I'm not alone.
Oh, but those poor dear girls out there typing in "married". I can't say I blame them, however. He's exactly the kind of dreamy gay boy I'd be crushing on if I were a straight gal too. Hell, who am I kidding.

Seems at least one poor hopeless gal (, not me) took the time to ask the ridiculous question:
Is John Giddings Gay? at
I won't even insult you with the answer.

Supposedly this is his boyfriend

On one of the most recent episodes of Curb Appeal, the homeowners surprised him with a romance cover he'd posed for.
He seemed genuinely abashed, which is only more cute.

Nov 17, 2010


I'd watched this at gawker a while back. I went over there not long ago, just for a very brief looksee, on my way to see my recently deceased car, and it was just as creepy as you'd imagine.

Nov 13, 2010


No reason, except that I kind of loved this Hockney inspired photo shoot.

Nov 11, 2010

man meme

So it seems hayward tagged me in a "Man Meme"

It asks "what are the ingredients for the secret recipe for my perfect man"?
At first I was excited by this idea.... but upon recollection, I realized just what a snore this list would actually be.
So, um...sorry about that.
But anyway, here it is:

1. He has to laugh at (at least some of ) my stupid
jokes...and at himself. I'll gladly laugh at his and myself.

2. I'm a sucker for talent. It's one of those things that automatically
makes me interested in even someone kind of homely: the ability to write
(!), or act, or paint, or sing, or cook, or well, never mind.
Talent is always attractive.

3. I'm a sucker for a nice voice too, but who isn't?

4. He should be genuinely interested in my least some of the
time. Lord knows, I'd reciprocate. Hell, I've reciprocated even when he hasn't.

5. As for looks, well, my tastes run the entire
gamut. I mean really. I've found myself attracted to just about every
... every single age, race, height, weight and coloring
you can imagine. I mean really...I'm pretty much a whore A celibate whore, but

But I guess if someone put a gun to my head and made me narrow down
one type, I'd say I tend to favor men who are tallish, slender, hirsute, and
dark haired. Oh, with good teeth. I kind of have a fetish for good teeth.
And noses.

6.Lastly, he should want to be with me. This is, of course, the most important (and most elusive, alas) of all these qualities. It trumps them all, I'm sure.

Are you still awake? I didn't think so.

Anyway, who knows, maybe he's out there somewhere, right?
Actually, he probably is. No doubt right now somewhere he's petting his Irish setter, drinking cognac, listening to the rain, sensitively reading Shelley by firelight...while his bitch of a husband is grudgingly scrubbing skid marks out of his dirty drawers.

As for "tagging", I tag you, gentle readers.

How would you build your own "perfect" man?

tender is the night

Some (new) Brian Ferry (!)

Nov 7, 2010

How to have style (part quatre)

1. Don't be afraid to be sexy

2. Pink chiffon never fails

3. Know how to pose.
4. Diagonal stripes (and wedge shaped hair) are slimming

5. Maximize your best asset

6.Eyepatches are jaunty and practical.

7. You'll never go wrong in heels.