May 29, 2014

shoppingtime sadness

(Or, three pathetic things seen shopping today)

1. Perfect Polly, the pathetic plastic parrot.    Oh my God, what kind of sad little life must one have to buy a plastic parrot as a pet? (ok, so yeah, I kinda want one)
2.  Bubba : While you're there at Biglots, why don't you get little Sally a trailer trash doll who sniffs his own underarms?  That'll prep her better for marriage than that fag "Ken," right?

3. "Schoolkrijt zacht zoet":     Surely this is some sadistic joke, right?

"Hey, let's take the world's worst 'candy' (licorice)...and shape it to look like....oh, I got it..... chalk! 

Ha ha ha")
Sick Dutch bastards.

May 27, 2014

a very important public service announcement

Painting parade with Peenee

Recently, when Peenee was in town, he and the lovely "Magda" were kind enough to let me join them on a little jaunt through the consignment store.

You should all be jealous.

While they looked at the antiques, I spent time taking furtive cell phone photos.

I was almost like being in the Louvre with Sr. Wendy!'s a small sampling of some of the "artistic" offerings that day:

Harlequin (screaming out his existential angst into the godless void)

Flock of terrifying cross-eyed sea gulls. Hitchcock Schmitcock.

Nude, with (some of her) hair blowing in the wind


May 22, 2014

Town and WTF-ery

Today, perusing the latest issue of Town and Country (at the public library, to that homeless man, the one who smells vaguely like cat food. You know the one.),

I happened across this little article.

"What jewels pair well with couture sneakers and hand-embroidered hoodie?"
I almost did a spit take....I mean, this clearly this is a parody of a Town and Country article, right?

And just in case you thought they were putting us on, here are the prices.
 Well, then....oh. kay.

May 10, 2014

pillow talk

Yes, this is a post about throw pillows.

Is what this blog has come to?  How did it all fall apart?
Whatever, life can't all be bitching and gratuitous male models, can it?

Anyway, as you can probably see, I have an addiction to cheap throw pillows from Target.
Is there help for this? Somehow they help me cope.

Being creative poor, however, whenever I see something there that strikes my fancy, I have to delay my gratification for a few months.
Almost inevitably, (but not always) a set of two find their way on the dusty jumbled end caps for me to find.

I imagine this is exactly how a heroin addict who's just scored a hit feels. 

After my most recent purchase, (Cher), I noticed something like a theme.
Each one was rather like a different now I've named them.

Oh my god, is this what I've become???  The man who names his pillows as if they're pets.....after divas!
Kill me now.

At least, I now have the bugle beaded pillow to die upon.

the Cher by Bob Mackie (Target Clearance-- after weeks and weeks of waiting})

the Laurie Partidge (Target clearance)

the Morticia Addams (Target clearance)

the Polly Magoo (My first post Katrina pillow purchase {Target clearance})

the Debbie Harry (Target retail {ouch})
the Oscar Wilde (Target clearance)
the Twiggy (Second post Katrina pillow purchase {Target clearance})

the Scarlett O'Hara (Target Clearance)

The Virgen de Guadalupe (from the Target in the suburbs of heaven {actually gift from John...stuffed with real rose petals!})