Guess who...

Sometimes in my incessant meandering around the Internet, I stumble upon a photo (or four) of a celebrity that surprises me.
 These aren't that hard to figure out, but I still like them.  I wonder if there a common denominator for them?  Hmmm
 Anywho, can you figure out whom you're looking at? 

A

B

C

D

Swinging in the Rear

So one of the many things I've been doing lately, is wasting time on Tumblr/
One of my newest finds is this site dedicated to the glory that is  Gene Kelly's Ass

That's Entertainment right there.

 

Waiting room reading

One of the ways I've been keeping myself occupied lately is  by reading the various trash magazines in various doctors' waiting rooms.
 Here's one that caught my attention. 
 Hey, it's this or "Top Ten Warning Signs of Diabetes", and this is more fun. Well, a little.

Ain't nothing going on but the rent

Did I ever mention seeing Jessica Lange at the grocery store?  Well, it was a while back, and it was completely uneventful.
I guess that's the point.  It's no big deal any more.
The point is these Hollywood types (and such) are driving up my rent.

Thankfully, my landlord allowed me to renew my lease a while back.
 I begged and crawled, but I'm a very good tenant.

My rent has gone up however, a good bit.
My salary has not.
My last "raise" was a gift card for a free meal at Popeyes stapled to my contract.
But I'm not complaining. That's more than I've seen in the past five years.
woo hoo!



Anyway....

When I went down to my landlord's plantation mansion to re-sign the lease,
I met the guy who now lives below me.

He was paying a full year's rent in one fell swoop.
Who has that kind of money???
Oh, wait, lots of people.

 He works in the film industry, it seems....wafted in from Hollywood.

It's all good for the city, of course.  It's not the city it was ten years ago, and for that I am grateful,
but, sheesh, I'm just trying to not be driven back into the suburbs by all this gentrification.
ahem


Hit it Gwen:

Deb!

Today is the birthday (70th) of the divine Debbie herself, and I feel I'd be remiss without honoring her.
Here's one of her later, under-appreciated songs (with a rather bizarre video)

This month's NIHG Book Club selections

Which would be most helpful to your life?

and now a word from our sponsors....

via dirtyoldhoe

just jealous

I used to walk by this house all the time when I lived uptown, I used to dream about the day I'd own it myself.

You know, after I climbed the ladder of success and did a full Diana Ross on my former girl group sisters, to become an international R and B sex symbol/superstar.

Meanwhile, seems some trifling-ass basic bitch and her husband or whatever have beat me to it.

dammit

Billie's Holiday

In honor of the divine Lady Day's 100th, here's a little quiz.

What do Billie and I have in common?

a. Both sing a mean "Lover Man" in the shower.
b. both portrayed on the silver screen by Diana Ross.
c. Both photographed by legendary photographer Herman Leonard
d. That pesky heroin habit.
e. A and C


image via jonnodotcom

have a great weekend!

"...laced with touch of the South"

The other day while browsing our local Dollar Tree, I happened upon this sight....just to the right of the rubbing alcohol and left of the plastic hand grenades

What do I see? Why It's a book by  none other than

"New York Times Bestselling Author" Wynonna Judd
(Yes, you did read that right.)

Opening it, I was assailed by her menacing author's photo.  She dares me to put it back, so I don't.  

I let the pages fall open to read this line of fine literature:    "'Hello, Destiny Hart,' he said in a whiskey -smooth voice laced with a touch of the South."

I mean now really, poor old Harper Lee can clearly forget about her little "comeback" now, right?  Here is Southern Literature at its finest right here.

Furious

The other day wandering aimlessly around Tumblr, dutifully curating pics of kittens and porn, I stumbled upon a treasure trove of the gorgeous Mr. Ed Fury.

Two long seconds of googling research later, I discovered that he is, indeed, still with us (86!)
and that at least at age 70 he was still sexier than most of us will ever be.
Damn him!

But then I have always had a thing for a man in a cable knit sweater....and zebra print posing straps.

(You just know he had one on under those jeans, right?)
 

on the menu

Reminder

W.W.E.D.?

thought for the day....

r.i.p.

happy St. Zsa Zsa day!

 (with special thanks to norma)
How are you celebrating, dahlink? 

Gabor-o-rama

A few days ago, I got a call from a stern robot librarian about a book that was "overdue."
 Oops.
It took me a while to realize which, but I finally figured it out.
 





















 Like so many men before, I'd fallen under the siren spell of the Gabors.

I know the librarians are silently judging me.
Even the robot ones.
I mean, I know I would be.
But whatever.

This tome is  750 odd pages, a goulash of gossip and trash.   Too much for me to digest in fact.
I had to return it before I even got to page 300.
I was getting heartburn.
Besides, that 90 cent fine wasn't going to pay itself.

But that's why I'm here, to save you all the time and trouble of having to sift through the boring parts. Let me get straight to the point:

Penis.

Penis is always the point of anything, right?

 It seems much of the 750 pages of this tome is about penis.
 (But, surprisingly, not Zsa Zsa's.)

Anyway, here, for your delectation, are some random quotes:

"At a luncheon in London, G. B. Shaw made outrageous claims to Zsa Zsa about his first meeting with a future queen he defined as a 'little harpie and an annoying vixen'".

"'Even though I didn't have to, I was naked under the blanket,' Stewart Granger later said.  'It made me more authentic in the role, and it gave the gay men on the crew a thrill when I stripped down. So why not?'"  

"Although the decadent (King) Farouk was said to have the 'tiniest penis' in Egypt' Zsa Zsa always maintained that he raped her..."

"Earlier in that day, Rubi, learning for the first time that Lance had homosexual tendencies, called him aside. He whispered to his stepson to be, 'Go ahead, feel it. Forget about that small dick of Cary Grant. I've got one that stretches to the moon.'" 

"The stars and hookers George Raft bedded....referred to his penis as 'Black Snake'"

Aboard a flight to Paris "...Zsa Zsa sat next to a young woman 'with kinky hair and bad skin'": Jacqueline Kennedy."

"To borrow a line from Frank Sinatra, Zsa Zsa's former rapist, she did it Her Way..."

"There is Nothing Like a Dame"

The other day at the library I found this trashy little number on the shelves.
(Actually, it was rather thick, as befits its subject matter, I suppose.) 

Of course, I had to have a seat and glance through it.
It did not disappoint.  

This is the Liz book that needs to be filmed...even if it might require some CGI and work by Pixar.

 Anyway, here are a few excerpts that made me howl intrigued me:

Exhibit A.

 "She told Dick that Johansson was 'an absolute powerhouse in bed. I felt like three pounds of Swedish sausage was pounding inside of me...'"

This line provoked a chuckle. (and a quick image search for "Ingemar Johansson's three pound Swedish Sausage")

Ingemar himself

Rough approximation of Ingemar's sausage

Exhibit B.

Of course when I read this:

"You mean Peter?' Roddy said. 'Of course we're still friends even though we no longer bump pussies together.'"

I fell out.
I mean really?
Are you not laughing now too? 

I laughed so loudly that I risked the librarian's proverbial ire.

I mean, I don't know about you, but I couldn't help but hear it coming from this mouth:

Good times, Good times.

What I'm reading

This is the pile of reading material next to my bed currently.
Classy, huh?

 

Anyway, just because I'm cruel, here are three things you never really wanted to know:


From the super tacky, picture heavy Jackie Handbook (courtesy of the public library):

"Jackie and Ari were physically passionate at the start of their marriage, and Onassis used to boast openly about their sex life."

From the very boring OK Magazine (brought back by John from Merry Olde):

 
"Kate, who is pregnant with her first child, arrived at the gallery at 9 a.m. looking still slender in a burgundy Whistles dress that she has worn in public several times before."

From the completely fascinating smutfest   exposé,  Full Service 
(also courtesy of the public library):

"There was an extremely goodlooking, well groomed fellow who loved to take it in the 'back door', meaning, of course, that he was the passive partner, or the bottom, in anal intercourse. Edward (the Duke of Windsor) was particularly fond of giving it to him that way while........"
(ok, so never mind)

thought for the day