Dec 20, 2010

Inner Santa

So, well, I think I'm kind of nursing a bit of a holiday funk. It's probably just a spell of loneliness.
Who knows.
Sometimes I start thinking about how nice it'd be to get a xmas gift....or a kwanza gift...or a birthday gift...or a bat mitzvah gift...or some kind of gift someday, one day, you know,
from a boy.

Anyway, I figure since I am a boy, I can buy myself my own damned gifts, right?
So that's what I do.
Let's see what my inner boyfriend put in my Xmas stocking this year, shall we?

1. A "Fine Belgian Chocolate" Scrabble game (!) I saw it at Target and
had to buy it. I'll probably play a game by myself, and then eat the
consonants first. Finally, something useful to do with those extra x's.

2. Holy Ghost!'s new cd, which has only six tracks on it, two of them remixes, and three of which I already have. Still, I got it used and cheap.

3. a new cheap little digital camera to replace the one I destroyed by slamming a taxi door on it. Maybe I'll even work up the energy to read the manual.

4. A phrenology head, which honestly, I'd intended to give as a gift,
but may just keep myself. Is there a section on the head that signifies
wanting-to-keep-gifts-for-yourself, I wonder?

Anyway, all nice and all, but, if my inner boyfriend doesn't step it up, I'm going to have to break up with his broke ass.

That's all I'm saying.


mrpeenee said...

What!? You're cheating on Dopey already? He hasn't even been on the scene for a whole 24 hours and you're already stepping out on him with some bump reading, gameplaying tramp.

Ur-spo said...

tell that inner boy you deserve only the best !

Nathan said...

My inner boyfriend is too broke to buy me any presents this year. What a loser!

David Toms said...

My inner boyfriend needs a serious talking to,by the way it is wrapped I think I am getting an ironing board

MJ said...

I see you've wasted no time spelling out "sack".

ilduce said...

My lousy inner boyfriend has even ignored my hints about wanting a new scale.

Stephen said...

I have something special for you on Christams mornng, little boy.

I'm married & even I have an inner-boyfriend who is as thoughtless as ever.

My verification word is: HYMONS.

normadesmond said...

eating that scrabble game must make you smarter! that's bound to drop a boyfriend right into your lap!

Margaret said...

These comments on NIHG aren't presents enough?

My word verification is "unestsi" and I read it as, "Uni Testes."

govtdrone said...

My inner boyfriend is buying dental work. Goodbye annual bonus.

My Blog said...

My inner boyfriend dumped me for my inner girlfriend and now they're having an affair and laughing at me... from the inside. That hurts. I get back at them by eating really spicy food. They get back at me when I evacuate. It's a vicious cycle.

Kelly T Keating said...

Bravo! You made me laugh and want to give you a hug at the same time. I like your concept of an inner boyfriend, but since I have been channeling my inner Ms. Havisham for a few years, it may hard to produce one now.

Happy Christmas and Happy New Year!


ayeM8y said...

Does your inner boyfriend go on better dates than you?

Damn cheating inner boyfriend.

My virtual Christmas gift for you is a loving husband who designs fabulous houses around the world and gives them to you as presents.


Murry Chrixmus

Salty Miss Jill said...

My inner boyfriend would buy me a phrenology head, too. I've always wanted one.