Aug 21, 2009

shit his dad says

Maybe the funniest twitterer I've seen in quite a while is shit my dad says , posted by a certain "Justin"
Here's his bio:

"Name: Justin
Bio I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says."

"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for
you, some
are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More.
Me."
from web

"Your brother
brought his baby over
this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't
stand for shit. Just sat
there. Big let down."
from web

"Love this
Mrs. Dash. The bitch can
make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I
was making a joke! Mrs. Dash
isn't even real dammit!"
from web

"The dog is
not bored, it's a
fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him
a fucking rubix cube.
He's a god damned dog."
from web

"My flight lands at 9:30 on
Sunday...You want to
watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you
don't pick me the
hell up."
from web

"When I used
to live in Los
Angeles, I used to step in human feces a lot."
from web


"I didn't live
to be 73 years old
so I could eat kale. Don't fix me your breakfast and
pretend you're fixing
mine."
from web


5 comments:

Marshall said...

That reminds me of that site (now gone) called www.grazygrandpa.com. The webmaster (webmistress? - it was a female) did the same thing with her grandfather - complete with pictures.

It was cruel and cool all rolled into one.

Marshall said...

Hell, I meant to type www.crazygrandpa.com. That does make the sentence make more sense.

Ur-spo said...

dear me
I hope the old man realizes he is the laughing stock of the twitter world !

Stephen said...

Funny, crazy, funny. This post makes me wanna collect nutty Tweets & Facebook Wall posts.

Jenn said...

Aww, I just emailed that site to you because Rob had it on his fb. It is so great.