Aug 3, 2009

sampling of recent "advice" given to me:

Female friend in happy relationship:
"But how do you know you're gay? Why don't you just try women?"
(trans. Let's get back to me.)

Gay single male friend:
"Just give up. Puh-lease. It's all hopeless."
(trans. just get drunk.)

Single female friend who's found God:
"I think it's just not in God's plan. Maybe He wants something else for you."
(trans. God hates fags?)

Straight female friend in unhappy relationship:
"But how do you know you're gay? Why don't you just try women?
(trans. you could marry me!)

Straight married male friend:
(trans.: Gee, I've never not been in a happy relationship or rejected. Sorry. Sounds bad.)


Anonymous said...

Those comments seem to be Universal... I have got some similar. If you are a bisexual man, like me, it is even odder.

Here are a couple:

The girl:«Why are you looking to my breasts?»
Me: «Sorry, I did not intend to. I was reading your t-shirt.»
The girl: « Stupid bastard!» (trans. You should be looking to my breasts!)

The girl:«Why don't you go out on a date with me?»
Me:« Sorry, but I do not think that would be a good idea. But we can go out as friends.»
the girl: «Faggot!» (trans. You do not like me because I am a ugly boring girl but because you are gay.)


jason said...

What's even odder is that I probably would have been looking at her breasts.

Anonymous said...

He he he.. not with that one..She was flat as her dad.. That is maybe why he reaction...

Errata: where you read «to my breasts» you should read « at my breasts»...

My English is getting worst by the minute...

joe*to*hell said...

my advice: fuck them

ayem8y said...

I’m with Joe, Fuck them! Go out and fuck every available man possible and see if one takes...

Elizabeth said...

Oh straight people! Sometimes i can't even stand us!

But seriously, I think this kind of idiocy comes from people who've never had to face in any way what it is to be different, what it is to need to go in a way that is counter parental and social expectations. Makes me glad to have been the family fuck-up!

sam said...

You could stab them.

mrpeenee said...

Sam is so right on. Let me get my hat and my knife.

Ur-spo said...

How do you know you are gay?
Well, the bottom line remains at 2 basic activities of which you can guess.

Silly Monkey said...

I'm wondering how Fabulastic knows Jason's breast preference. Maybe Jason likes flat-breasted girls. ;)

JUSTIN said...

This made me just spit beer out on my monitor. Hilarious. I've heard these before as well.

Jill said...

You need some new female friends.

Kapitano said...

When I first came out, I had this conversation:

Stupid person: "How do you know you're gay? You can't know 'till you've tried it with a woman."

Me: "How do you know you're straight if you haven't tried it with a man?"

Stupid person: "Um. Did you have a really traumatic experience with a woman, that made you turn to men?"

Me: "No. Did you have a traumatic experience with a man?"

Stupid person: "I think you just need to try a woman. Then you'll see they're better."

Me: "You just need to try a man."

Oh yes, the conversation took place in a gay bar. They were there because they were "curious".