Apr 25, 2010

35 things done this weekend in Lafayette

1. Missed Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, (and Sharon Stone and the Gap Band too, for that matter.)

2.Saw part of the World Trade Center, with a quote from George Bush, who apparently spoke fluent French in 2001.

3.Willingly let someone commandeer my camera to take photos of whatever he wanted. Apparently he wanted to take photos of lots of white boys.

4.Watched what seemed to be a pretty brazen hookup at the Sierra Club booth, between plaid boy one and plaid boy two. Maybe they'll both pretend to be lumberjacks.

5. Watched a "I'm gone be 76 year old" woman in a gold sequined dress belt out a song about "flipping it over" and hittin' it good" (I paraphrase)

6.Admired these sexy hairy legs.

She was hot.

7.Was charmed by the kids in (completely uncalled for) costumes.

8.Watched some Capoeira in a lovely little park. Apparently it's the Brazilian art of erotic battle farting...set to music.

9.Watched this hippy (above) and this hippy (below) watch a 76 year old woman sing about flipping it over and turning it out.

10.Decided Sarge here probably needed to be flipped over and turned out by a 76 year old black woman.

11.Watched Michael's friend manage to go from taking a distant photo of one (presumably) straight guy (below), to, getting him to take a picture with me (redacted), to, three or so hours later, upon reencountering him on the street, having a long, lingering conversation with him and getting a phone number (?).

12.Stepped back in awe of such skills.

13.Watched total strangers oblige and take a picture with a pervert (me)...for a bigger pervert(?) (him).

14.Watched Michael's friend's Grindr contact's live-streaming masturbation video minutes after seeing him on the street.

15.Learned that everyone in Lafayette has an Iphone, and apparently people do these things.

16.Was ambushed by wannabe performers, Guy in Pink Hat With Girls. The one in the white glasses was clearly the star. She gave an impromptu, very unasked for, miniature washboard performance on the curb. Even the washboard sounded like she'd been smoking.

17.Photographed model-in-his-own-head watching Capoeira. Every move he made was as if he were posing for a Calvin Klein ad, c. 1999.

18.Envied these tattoos that looked like nylon seams, but were not.

19.Feared gaining weight by simply coming into contact with huge bread bowls filled with crawfish and cream concoction.

20.Successfully avoided eating fried bacon on a toothpick, with shrimp somewhere inside.

21.Envied (?) a Burt Reynolds t-shirt on straight tourist from New Orleans, like me, only not.

22.Envied a K and B t-shirt on a gay tourist from New Orleans....like me, only better.

23.Fell victim to eating a mediocre meat pie.

24.Fell victim to Michael's evil plan: "So, how old do you think he is?" (he asks me, in regard to his friend). "Ummm...39? I said, tentatively rounding down.

The answer was 32 and there is no way out of that hole ever. Never.

25.Made clover chains while sitting in the grass, the idea of which seemed to spread. Gave mine to this adorable little girl.

Michael gave his little one to a full grown woman, who later asked to have his baby. Coincidence? I think not.

26. Watched as a "bear" stripper, stripped (counterintuitively)
starting out in skimpier underwear than he ended up.

27. Watched someone (Michael) eat chicken salad (on avocado) in a Mexican restaurant.

28.Failed miserably in resisting the lure of duck-fat fried fries with aioli.

29.Fantasized about walking around around the festival with the aioli around my neck, sucking it from the squeeze bottle like a big pacifier.

30.Went to a gay bar which had switched up its regular gayzak to cajun music.

31.Learned by way of the very charming Dave the trick to two stepping: "Imagine your right foot is nailed to a plank on the floor" (I paraphrase)

33.Saw this French Canadian band live. 34. Moshed a bit...in French.
35. Vacated mosh pit when huge kilt wearing man bounded in, reaking of a "hummus"-like BO (as Michael maintains).


MJ said...

#4. Clashing plaids. We can only hope they don't get their clothes mixed up and one of them put on the plaid shirt with the plaid shorts.

#24. Dead man walking.

mrpeenee said...

Sorry, I got to the fried bacon shrimp thang and the cute guy jacking off on grindr and was completely distracted. What were you saying.?

ayem8y said...

#25. Made clover chains while sitting in the grass, the idea of which seemed to spread.

Did you smoke grass? That idea usually spreads too.

hayward said...

An older friend of mine has that same skill as in #12. I am equally amazed at how he can get more than a phone # from men half his age.

You look nothing like The Many Faces of Burt Reynolds there in #21.

Who you callin' housewife? said...

That photo of the fries made me drool. Really.

Sounds like an incredible weekend, except for that age-guessing thing. That NEVER works.

For my weekend, in case you were interested, I read a magazine (I think it was old) went to Target, and cleaned a toilet.

I really long to make clover chains and photograph hot men.

Dave said...

#9: I'm so glad someone got a picture of that particular hippy, although I wish you could have managed one from when he was shirtless.

#28: "Are you going to finish those fries?"

#31: You're welcome.

#35: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Jill said...

Oh, the joys of grindr!

Those french fried look amazing. I wouldn't have been able to resist either.

Dean Grey said...


Lafayette, Indiana?

What were you doing all the way out there?

All those hot guys and that delicious food! Now I know where I'm moving if I ever leave Chicago!


"Tommy" said...

Ah..... its Lafayette... the flavor of humanity Cajun Style. Glad you had a good time... head up to Alex one day.

govtdrone said...

Love Les Breastfeeders and Malajube. I think I was a French Canadian in a previous life.

Salty Miss Jill said...

#29 is only one of the reasons why we need to hang out.
This sounds like a perfect day.
And when are we going to see a photo of you?