Jun 7, 2009

random Sam's Club sights

The last time I went to Sam's Club, of course, I saw a legendary lioness prowling the aisles Terrifying and awesome.
Today's trip was not nearly so exciting, but still there were sights to be seen.

At the entrance, blocking the way, a whole family, all six of them, in "Free Palestine" t-shirts. No doubt mom had one under her hijab too. The cart was full of chopped garlic and extra large sized boxes of Hostess snack cakes. All the hydrogenated oil in there will be "freeing" Palestine soon enough, I'm sure

At the concession stand, a lesbian couple were a few steps in front of me. They were buying bottled waters and slices of cheese pizza for lunch. Of course, there's nothing unusual about seeing a lesbian couple in a Sam's Club, but these weren't your average lesbians. Nope, these were bonafide L-word types, clearly visitors from the East bank. The tall one was a tad bit butcher than the smaller one, who was very pretty, perhaps Lebanese(a Lebanese Lesbian, wouldn't that be cool?)
Anyway, both were dressed in skinny jeans and wifebeaters, the smaller one in fabulous silver strappy heels. They were wheeling around 20 bottles of wine and two cases of Mexican beer.

While looking in the plastic cup section, I noticed a strange phenomenon. Across from me, folks would file by. Most would hurry on their way to the free samples in the grocery section, but along the way, every single black woman of a certain age would invariably stop and fondle the Magnalite. Every single one.

They'd completely ignore the yuppie copper and the "Wolfgang Puck" classic collection and hone in on the Magnalite, gleaming in its aluminum deco beauty. A few would even sigh in longing. I can't say I blame them.

At the exit, checking out before me, were two young Mexican men, one cholo like, with tattoos and saggy pants, the other, clearly his lover, with bobbed hair, wearing women's jeans. He seemed to be named, "Manuel." Manuel was dutifully filling up an extra large fountain coke for his man. They shared a straw. They were pushing out a cart filled with raw pork: chops, loin, sausage.


larry said...

what diversity! you describe it so well,jason. every detail. i like it.

sam said...

you remind me how unexciting it is where i live. maybe someday i'll get out to NOLA and be inspired!

ayem8y said...

Okay I’ll be the first to say it, “A true Lesbanese”

I wonder what the fascination with Magnalites would be? Hmm I wonder...Maybe they were comparing it against they boyfriendses...

Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Lucky that my cousins weren't there. If they saw "Free Palestine" they'd be lined up to get their free samples of Palestine. It's a hand cream, right?

jason said...

Larry: thanks

Sam:I'll be sure to bring you to Sam's Club when you do. There's a Grey line tour I think.

Ayem8y: thank you for saying it.

JT: Ha!
Luckily *my* cousins weren't there either. They'd have probably built a meth lab on one of the free sample hotplates.

"Tommy" said...

we have Sam's up here in the Louisiana Outback too.

its always good on a Saturday morning for a stroll

you see the various rednecks, cajuns, and other local groups gathering their supplies for the weekend

Ur-spo said...

That billboard is a bit risqué, no?

TJB said...

Pork. It does a body good.

(Did one of them have a pork 'stache? Or was that merely a dirty Sanchez?)

Elizabeth said...

Jason - You write so very very well! Seriously, the descriptive details you choose are so perfectly expressive. And you're also humorous without being mean spirited. I really do hope you write and publish more than just this blog one day!

Anonymous said...

Hate going to Sams on the weekends when the graziers are out munching at all the free food stands as their asses spread... ugghhh
or the old people standing in the middle of the aisle either lost or loading up their depends but always blocking the path.

Miss Janey said...

That's a Sam's Club worth joining.

Salty Miss Jill said...

Even the Sam's Club in your town sounds like fun. :)