Jun 19, 2009

cheese and gaydar

There's nothing like wine and cheese you-can't-pronounce with three doctors to make you feel poor.

The venue was nice, however.

"Very Nor-Cal," the "Nor-Cal" girl in the line in front of me announced to her non-Nor-Cal friends. Gauging by the shop, I'm guessing this "Nor-Cal" place is completely inhabited by sporty white people and is very well air conditioned.

Anyway, the ostensible topics of the night were real estate, the cold of Chicago vs. the heat of New Orleans, real estate, wine, restaurants, cheese, and real estate (standard yuppie chatter...do people still use that word?)

Anyway, the tacit topic, simmering underneath all this small talk, however, was whether or not Doctor number 3 was gay.

Of course I'd been briefed on the evidence pro and con beforehand by Dennis, the only other non doctor there.

I'd met these friends of his a few times before, but Doctor number 3, only once. They'd all known him for years, and still hadn't quite decided what the deal was. Sometimes it takes a lifetime. Sometimes even longer.

Dennis was eager to have my input, though my gaydar is notoriously faulty.

The evidence presented, before the meeting, was thus:

1. He is noticeably flirty, but in a non-sexual way. He was toward me the first time I met him, and again tonight actually, but then he does this to most folks it seems.
2. He's never been involved with any woman that anyone knows about...and these are his long term best friends.
3. He's never been involved with any man either, that anyone knows about.
4. He favors platonic female friends and gay male friends.
5. His family history (which was not elaborated upon) is "crazy". What that means, I have no idea, but I speculate it's important.
6. He's more than a little interested in grooming, fitness and clothes, but not to an excessive extent, however.

Oh, yeah, and the coup de grace:

7. He's distractingly good looking. I mean dangerously so.

Anyway, I couldn't help much with the judgement, but the cheese was good.
Ultimately, however, I lean more to the "straight" side. I think some of the gay talk is wishful thinking, but I could be wrong. I've met him but twice, very superficially.
I think the tally is equally divided on both sides still.

It just may be a case that may never be solved, kind of like, you know, Rock Hudson.


sam said...

one i developed gaydar, it was a while before i could actually trust it. and now, i always trust it.

ayem8y said...

Well this is exactly the kind of scene that brings out the worst in me. I would’ve had a definite answer for you had I followed him to the men’s room. I just love a challenge. Anyway the point IS that all of these people that are closer to him than anyone have never just outright asked the man, “Are you GAY?...Cause you GAY...Right?”

Jill said...


If your ever in the vicinity of a cheese called Drunken Goat...eat it!

Ur-spo said...

I am 'crackers' for cheese. I love it so.
So many cheeses, so little time.

Cheese and tea - two vitals of life!

mrpeenee said...

" He's never been involved with any woman that anyone knows about...and these are his long term best friends...."

Magic 8 ball says gay. Gay. GAYAGAYAGAYAGAY. Closet case.

Really good looking adult people have sexual relations. They may be short term, they may be passing, they may be tragic mistakes, but they exist. If your best friends have never heard about how you're getting laid (or not) it's because you're hiding it. And why are you hiding it? Because you like the pole as opposed to the hole.

Do I have to come back there and straighten you people out?

TJB said...

"How the hell should I know, dahling? He's never sucked MY cock!" - Tallulah Bankhead, re: Broadway co-star (!) Tab Hunter

ayem8y said...

This just came to me, Goudar!

jason said...

sam: I've learned the hard way not to trust it.

ayem8y: you're a genius. Goudar proves it.

Jill: heck, if I'm in the vincinity *of* a drunken goat I just might eat him too.
buh duh bum.

Urspo: I'm crackers for crackers!
(shut up y'all)
buh duh bum.

peenee: I defer to your skill.

tjb: you read my mind....exactly the line that came to mine too!

Salty Miss Jill said...

So, how was the cheese?

Kim Hambric said...

For 16 of the 26 years I have known one of my best friends, he kept his sexual identity as buried as a pirate buries his treasure (suppose someone could make a joke about that).

He had me fooled about 95% of the time. Although be wouldn't be caught dead at a cheese event unless it served Velveeta and Miller Lite.

Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Are you saying nor-cal as if it's a bad thing? Actually, here in nor-cal, no shops have air-conditioning but lots of artisan cheeses.