Jun 28, 2009

a trip to the bookstore

A few feet into the door a pleasant woman gave me a photocopied sheet of coupons. A few feet later another pleasant woman tried to give me another. Economy's bad, I hear.

As is always the case in bookstores, I get overwhelmed and develop a fear of commitment and leave empty handed. But the coupon promised 25 percent off, so I decided to risk it and buy an expensive art book to replace the ones lost a few years ago in you-know-what

Blocking the aisle was a pretty early twenty something girl wearing red vinyl heels...and a white snood. That's right, a snood.












In 2009.

With her, was her "bff": a six foot six, 250 lb gay boy with highlighted hair, combed à la Zac Efron, mincing through the decorating books aisle like a chihuahua on a leash.

Miss Snood loaded up on a few hundred dollars worth of books, while her huge chihuahua barked pronouncements throughout the store about what he "loooooooooooooooved" and "h8ed!"
Finally they vacated the aisle.

Hmmmm...what should I buy? The art section was small, now that they'd pillaged it, but I finally, after a long time debating, decided on this:



The "extraordinary insight into his world of glamour, sex and fame!" had nothing to do with it.

Leaving, I nearly caved into my sugar lust/heat/boredom. I got in line for a Extra Grande Mocha Frappuccino®.


Thankfully the abs of God intervened:



I got an iced coffee instead.
Small, black, no sugar.
I mean really.
Not good merchandising strategy to have abs like that glaring accusingly at you when you're selling carbs, is it?

As I exited, Andrea Bocelli began operatically with what sounded suspiciously like Wham's classic "Careless Whisper"...in Italian. I lingered to hear the end, but when he started up (what sounded like) "Sukiyaki", I had to go.

7 comments:

larry said...

you have a way with words,jason. did you buy the mag??? ryan reynolds is hot!

ayem8y said...

I’ve read at least three Andy Warhol books including the diary. You’ll find out the names of everybody who was and is somebody. It comes in handy for obscure references about obscure personalities. It always makes me feel as if I lived that life.

Jill said...

mincing like a chihuahua...You make me happy!

Regarding Ryan (who is a bit too sweet/cute for me)...what's that spot on a man called where the indentation on his hips leads down like an arrow to...? I adore that spot!

Colleen said...

I can't believe that until now, I was unenlightened as to what a snood is.

mrpeenee said...

I'm wearing a snood right now. It's my signature "career-gal" look for Mondays.

fendor said...

There should be a law that mandates Ryan reynolds should remain shirtless at all times....who can think about carbs with that vision...

ilduce said...

Ye gods, I feel about snoods the way Thombeau worships the montilla!