Jun 2, 2009

Classic American style

The other night dining at a local "discount steak" restaurant, I saw a woman with her husband. She was eating "molten lava" fudge cake with ice cream and drinking a diet coke, dressed in the following:

Classic Extra Large Wolf Howling t-shirt.

Classic New Balance "running" shoes

Classic acid washed jeans, size 20ish (?)

Classic Femullet

Classic Coach "Zoe" bag, (retail $398.00)

I could verify its authenticity only because I have been schooled in this matter by a coworker who, unlike with her hair, demands authenticity in Coach purses.

It all made me wax philosophical:
Where do we, as a culture, put our priorities?
If a lone wolf howls in the forest, does anyone hear it?
Does the purse bring class, or is it the cash inside of it?
Is life, like the mullet, just one big exercise in paradox?
Why do I sound like Carrie Bradshaw?
Why did I see that Sex in the City movie anyway?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?


TJB said...

Oh, that IS rich. Almost as rich as a molten chocolate lava cake.

I'll betcha she stashed at least a dozen Equal packets in that Coach bag of hers, too.

MJ said...

Would you make an exception for a Howlin' Wolf t-shirt?

jason said...

maybe, MJ. Maybe.

Now where's my season pass to Homo World?

Elizabeth said...

You have a problem with how I dress?

jason said...

Just envy, Elizabeth. That's my only problem.

Colleen said...

OMG. I think my head would have exploded at witnessing this ensemble. Sometimes I get really bummed out about how terrible so many people dress now, compared to olden times.

MJ said...

If you're nice to me, I'll give you a lifetime membership to Homo World.

mrpeenee said...

Being "nice" to MJ is just an invitation to trouble, but one you probably shouldn't pass up.

MJ said...

Being "nice" to Mistress MJ means sending her a photo of your bare bottom...something both Jason and Mr. Peenee have yet to do.

If they are shy, she will accept a photo of them in their BigBoyUnderoos.

Kim Hambric said...

Oh, God. The horror. The HORROR. I just went for my mammogram. You should have seen the gals in the waiting room. You don't need a discount steak joint to view American beauties.

Miss Janey said...

No wonder New Orleans is the murder capital.

Silly Monkey said...

Jason, now that you have that new camera, you need to start using it. :)

Salty Miss Jill said...

Klassy. With a capital K.