Five scenes from Saturday

2:50 pm, Camp Street:
Young gay hipster, all Ben Sherman plaid shirt, skinny jeans and Ray Bans, flailing arms indignantly, telling his bored female friend about his "total bitch" of a boss.

3:00 pm, Pleasant St.:
A freshly dead parrot carcass, flattened on the brick banquette

11:30 pm, Canal St.:
Five police men in the foyer of the Ritz Carlton. A trail of blood on the marble floor leads from door to elevator, a demitasse sized pool of blood in the elevator.
Another trail on floor 3.

11:32, Ritz Lobby:
My friend's friend: "What happened?" Concierge: "I don't know."
Janitor, with mop, furtively: "um...just a lil Ike and Tina, you know."

12:01 am, Royal St.:
Two prostitutes, both in white shorts and Burlington Coat Factory heels, leaning on the gate of the police station, mopping the sweat off their brows, half-heartedly trying to solicit us.

tripped up

Fresh off the wire:

"Alaska – The teenage daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, whose quest for the vice presidency began to go downhill the day she announced the pregnancy, has given birth to a son, a magazine reported Monday. Bristol Palin, 18, gave birth to Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston on Sunday,agazine reported Monday."

"Tripp"?
Umm....As in Linda?
Or what the mother of the "groom" is doing currently?

Read it all here

Top six songs (found by way of others) this year

In no particular order



Vampire Weekend's Oxford Comma (by way of Frontier Psychiatrist)



Sam Sparro's Black and Gold (by way of joe to hell)



Etienne Daho's Comme un Igloo (by way of thombeau)



Norma Jean's Saturday (by way of tjb)



Francoise Hardy's "Il n'ya pas d'amour heureux" (by way of tjb)



Santogold's L.E.S. Artistes (by way of michael)

for ladies only?

So the other night stumbled upon a picture of Gregory Harrison, of "For Ladies Only" and "Logan's Run" fame (notice which takes precedence).

Here he is in "Logan's Run," you know the episode where he strips down triumphantly to reveal his famous mind-control-defeating black kryptonite panties.
(I kid.)



Let's just say that this picture helped turn me into a homosexual.

A bit more research turned up a more recent picture of Greg, and damn if he's not still hot. What gives?

a movie non-review

I took myself to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" on Christmas day.
Thankfully, the theater was full. It didn't really matter to me if the movie was good or bad, I was going to see it. As it turned out, I actually enjoyed it (though it's a bit long). It's nothing earth shattering, but it is a lovely movie, beautifully filmed.

Of course the main draw for me was seeing the hometown. Most of the movie was filmed near my friend Michael's old home. Part of the house that Cate and Brad move into as a young couple I'd actually looked at with a friend who'd thought of buying it.

They filmed a brief part of it a few hundred feet from my bed here....I was very excited to see my current neighborhood for a brief while near the end...and there are few scenes near where I used to live pre-K.

Anyway, like I said, it didn't much matter if the movie were good or not. I'll see anything with costumes, and it stars my neighborhood!
Plus there's Tilda Swinton and Cate Blanchett (looking too beautiful for words).
I mean really...if that's not incentive enough to see it, I don't know what else could be.

best news of 2009!

I can't tell you how excited I am! I've been waiting for years for this to come out.
The first season comes out on April 21st.

Rhoda, needless to say, was profoundly formative to me in early childhood. It's where I first got the idea to hang up baskets on the wall, to live in NYC, to find jewish men sexy, to battle weight issues, to deal with overbearing mothers, to want to dress windows, to crack wise.

Read more here

overheard

Yesterday I had lunch at a local Vietnamese restaurant. The plaintive strains of "Ave Maria" faded away, and the next song cued up. Its melody kept nagging me until I was at the end of the bowl.














It was then I realized it.
It was nothing less than a young woman delicately singing Oran Juice Jones's classic, "The Rain"...in Vietnamese.



By then it was too late for me to memorize how to say "It's my world, you just a squirrel, tryin to get a nut" in Vietnamese.

(Ah well...good thing probably, because I'd be saying it all the time.)

Completely random Christmas eve sights

The deserted courtyard of a suburban restaurant, the westbank's idea of what "California" must be like, very crowded with bougie types (to quote my students), while we waited for 45 minutes for a table.

A hundred or so feet away the Burger King parking lot where a young man was shot in the head in his car a few nights ago. The police found him slumped over the wheel, the car still running.




Near my mother's home, nestled next to a gated community and strip mall after strip mall, four young Mexican men purchasing a soon to be slaughtered goat for Christmas dinner.



My childhood room....now with cable. The a/c has been running all day, when just a few days ago it was snowing.



Two elderly women in matching Christmas sweaters, one in green, the other in red, both wheeling matching oxygen tanks, eating fried catfish at the table next to us.



The lights in City Park, in the fog, as I drove home.

You're invited!

To our staff Christmas party this past week:


















(please insert sweater, pin and hair in clip above)

randomocity

Miss Janey tagged me, and TJB threw down the gauntlet, (who you callin' a punk, punk? Huh, huh?) so here are twelve, count 'em twelve random facts about yours truly.

The fine print here: 1. Link to the person who tagged you. 2. Post the rules on your blog. 3. Write six random things about yourself. 4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. 5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. 6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. My paternal great,great grandfather was famed for shooting a guy in a bar fight, scooping out his eyeballs with a tea spoon and filling the sockets with sand, as told to me by my much beloved grandfather (who spent a spell
in jail himself) when I was just a wee tot.

2. I started out college intending to major in architecture.

3. I failed remedial college algebra...twice.

4. I spent my high school study halls doodling fashion designs.

5. I was recruited by the coach to play football in high school. I declined, citing absolute ignorance of the rules.

6. I was vegetarian for two years. It wreaked havoc on my hair, so I stopped.

7. I've been asked by two sets of lesbians to father their children. Alas
(?), neither quite panned out. One couple separated, the other got
another cat.

8. I am an only child but have 37 first cousins.

9. I like the smell of diesel. It reminds me of trips into the city.

10. I spent much of my childhood in trees.

11. I don't like horror movies.

12. Two of my favorite Christmas presents came from my paternal grandfather (up there).
a. The pony (however brief):

b. a stack of rough brown paper tablets (from the paper mill) as tall as my 5 year old self.


13. I don't do well with rules, so anyone who wants to be tagged, you're it.

snow!

Of course you northerners will scoff, but here, snow is cause for mass hysteria.

Unfortunately, I was trapped at work for the duration of today's snow, so I couldn't take my own photos. There are countless ones at nola.com, from which I've stolen collected these.

I was trapped with 600 absolutely ecstatic young people, when a perfect snow came floating down from the skies. It piled up a good three or four inches in places.
I don't think I've ever seen so much in my life.
On my way home I saw no less than six full sized snowmen, all still standing.
Magic.

Trailers in the neighborhood (part 1)

Looks bad.

Oh, and I kind of hate Jim Carrey.
(Sorry. Not the most novel pronouncement, I know, but I've only just begun to realize it. I'm a slow learner.)

This one was at least partially filmed 10 feet from my front door.

answer

Congratulations to Frontier Psychiatrist! He got it right.
Of course, I knew your answers would be better than anything that the truth could provide. Thank you for playing.

But all you Ford haters can just hush it, right now.

I mean he's kind of a tool, yes...but there's something about him that's endearing to me. I can't help it. Oh, and he's hot, even with the botox.

Here are a few choice Tom Ford quotes:

On his first gay experience:

"I'd just turned 18. His name's Ian Falconer. You might know him. He writes children's books." (a la Olivia)

On boozing at Gucci:

"Five o'clock every day, man, it was cocktail hour. And those cocktails came out, trays of vodka tonics, and the whole staff would keep drinking till like nine, and we'd do that every day, every day. Because in a creative profession, sometimes loosening up is the best idea. Seriously."

On the fashion industry:

"It's like high school, too, by the way."

On sleeping with men vs. women:

"I don't want to sleep with anything with thin wrists. I want to sleep with something strong and powerful. My equal. That could be a sort of match to the death. Where we're pitted against each other. It disturbs me that their wrists are thin. It disturbs me that they're willowy. That I could hurt them, that they're fragile. It makes me behave differently with them and give them latitude that I would not give to a man."

On sluts:

"If sluttiness is what you like, what's wrong with that? Why do we think being a slut's bad? Sluttiness is just a lot of freedom."

On hygiene:

"I like everybody with a touch of dirty. I mean, I'm not saying I want to go between someone's legs and find flies buzzing around there...It should be clean. But we've gotten silly about this."

On his forehead flaws:

"I have Botox right here and collagen right in my brow lines. I'm going to have some collagen put in there. It's probably because this part is all Botoxed, and so it's dead smooth. So I need to have that fixed. I noticed that the other day. Thanks for pointing it out."

query

What do these two things have in common?





(yes, that's Mr. Ford's ass...yet again, by the way.)

Overheard, 3 pm

"Yeah. When I get my hair, for Christmas..."

no one is safe from crime

see more pwn and owned pictures

(from failblog, of course)

Zac and Kate make a Porno

Deleted scenes from "Heathcliff, The Musical."

what you won't do for love

A quiet storm classic.

(a previously unseen...and really cheesy...proto-video for one of my favorite childhood songs)

separated at birth? (holiday edition)

Inspired by by joe, pic stolen from
tjb.

very short review

I went to see Baz Luhrmann's Australia yesterday. It's an "epic" film set on a vast, magical, uncharted landscape Nicole Kidman's forehead full of great natural beauty Hugh Jackman .

howdy!

So, because I'm pathetic and usually get a bit lonely around the holidays, I put out a little solicitation for some platonic female friends.

(I mean, after all, this whole sex-with-men thing doesn't seem to be working out very well, does it? )

Anyway, I got one response, from what I'm sure is a lovely lady. There's just one thing that gives me pause. Ok, well, maybe five.

Email address:

TexanCougar4u@_______

Pretty much every part of that address scares me (and let's just say that the domain name is not helping her cause any either, if you know what I mean).

Of course, sicko that I am, I'm half hoping she's something like her.


But I'm just not that lucky.

thanks

So, I've been tagged by the lovely and talented Miss Janey to participate in her Thanksgiving Meme. She and others have posted such wonderful posts about their husbands and friends and devoted pets...such heartwarming testimonies to the power of love.

Yeah, well.

I'm having none of that crap.

No, this is all about the material objects, baby.
That's what I'm thankful for.
Here are three:

1. My car



My new, much more efficent, much cheaper, much less domestic, much smaller Nissan Versa, thanks to my near fatal accident on Good Friday this year.


2.Pot (oh, yeah, and this one too)



This is arguably my favorite object in the world. It's a pot that my mother gave to me when I moved out, a wedding gift from her own mother. It's the pot I learned to first boil water in back when I was just a lad. Look at that color! I love it so, and it's heavy enough to nail a nail in the wall, if need be.


3.My apartment



After what appears to be a month long stay at "the home" and possibly a lobotomy my neighor has finally stopped howling...for now (fingers crossed, crucifix lifted).

"a great activity to do with the kids!"

In doing my homework for Miss Janey's Thanksgiving Meme, I found this photo and got completely distracted:

I got it from a bizarre Canadian Renuzit Craft site. It reads:

If you have a knack for crafts, then have we got some fun and creative ideas for you! All projects feature Renuzit® LongLast® Adjustable air fresheners and a variety of inexpensive, readily-available craft supplies. Create fanciful projects for school parties and holiday and seasonal decor - a great activity to do with the kids!

What kind of fucked-up idea is this? I mean really.
Is this some sort of Canadian idea of "fun"?
Sick.

Crush Air

Every now and then, I find myself acting dangerously white. One of the hazards of being white is listening to NPR. Of course, I've developed some aural crushes while there:

Ira Glass and his girly voice make me all tingly.





(Seriously, could he be any cuter?)

Ari Shapiro is almost too hot for radio. Plus he has a husband, so I'd best step off.




And dear, dear Terry. Oh, how I wish I could have a gay marriage with her sometimes, just to hear her talk in bed.

thanks for the fabulosity

I have my best mantilla on. We're all mourning the loss our dearly beloved Fabulon. Thank you, Thom.

meh

Granted, I'm not really the audience (or am I?), but I just don't get the fuss about
him (it). Do you?

Things I kind of want

Two reasons:

1. Price: £4.54

2. A Kid's Review:
This book is very interesting as I am a fan of Nancy Drew but I also love cooking so this book was perfect for me!
The recipes are very easy to follow and simple with images and tips.
This is my favourite cookery book!!!

The mere words "favourite cookery book" are enough right there to sell me on it.



Classy but weird. Gray silk shade and gold leafed bronze goose legs.



Vintage S and P shakers. Guess which end the pepper comes out. Too cute.



Jonathan Adler Rhinoceros.
Why wouldn't I need this?