Feb 27, 2010

Fairy and the Weed

The other day while visiting Michael, I decided to finally take a photo of one of the books languishing in his place for the past three or so years. He has boxes of them, still unopened.

It's a children's story about a Fairy and (some) weed.
Or maybe it's a biography, who can tell.

It was written by a family friend of his parents...a now deceased former nun and her spinster sister (?), I believe...you know, just in case the whole thing wasn't freaky enough.

impulse shopping

Today, having nothing better to do, I climbed into the car, put on my brand new Roisin Murphy cd and drove off aimlessly.
I ended up at Mcdonalds eating a happy meal...sans toy....a sad meal, if you will.

I debated taking myself to a movie, but decided not to....nothing I wanted to see, and why waste more money, right?

So instead I drove down to a consignment shop I'd been wanting to visit for a while.
I was overwhelmed by ugly art and ubiquitous fleur-de-lis (es?).

(not to be a heretic or anything, but Jesus Christ give the fleur de lis a rest already, ok, people? Sheesh.)

Even more bored and frustrated (never a good combination), I drove to another shop.

Quite of the spur of the moment, I decided to buy these two cane back chairs.

Two chairs I do not need.
But...then again...I rationalized...I have been wanting to get rid of the aluminum and light green upolstered chair I've had for the past 4 years for quite a while. It had only cost me 40 dollars at Target and is supremely comfortable...and it's in very good condition, but it just looks a bit cheap...and the green limits me.
The Italian saleslady's accent also seduced me. I'm a sucker for an accent. She even helped me bring them out.

I've been wanting something a bit more "classic", but not too much. These seemed to fit the bill. I like the natural wood and the cane matches the other wood furniture I have well...and they're in perfect condition.

So within 20 minutes I'd spent more money than I have in three months and they were in my car. They weren't cheap, but they were not too expensive.

I was happy to see that they both fit in my little car, but not so happy to see that they sort of crowded my little living room. I'm seeing what I can do to get them to fit.
I need an extra chair anyway (he tells himself)

Besides, I know that if I hadn't bought her partner, she'd have gotten lonely sitting in here all day alone. I know I would.

Feb 26, 2010

clouds and irises

Yesterday afternoon, I finally got in the mail some cds I'd ordered. Yes, I still use cds. I'm proud to say that I have finally made it to 1995. I've only had a cd player in my car for the past year and a half, if you can believe that.

I'm like the Amish, but an Amish with a disco fixation.

Anyway, I got this Larry Levan cd and couldn't wait to put it on. Larry Levan was a somewhat legendary dj in the late 70s, at the Paradise Garage in NYC.

A few years ago when my friend Michael and I went up there we actually made a pilgrimage to see it. Seems it's like a parking garage now, ironically enough.

Having nothing better to do...nowhere better to go...I decided to take a drive...all the way down to Whole Foods, with the cd on full blast.

Who checks out a bouquet of irises, two apples, lavender hand sanitizer and wedge of Dutch goat cheese at 9:30 on a Thursday night?

Apparently I do.

I was excited to find number 2 was none other than "Clouds". I think it must be the most joyous sad song ever...or at least one of them. Seriously, you don't know whether to be happy or sad. That's the genius of it.

By the time I got home I was hoarse, from straining my voice trying to out-Chaka Chaka Khan. Thank god I was alone. I think I might have wilted the irises a bit.

Feb 24, 2010

eastern exposure

The other day, I took myself on my bimonthly trip to one of the Asian markets in my sacred homeland the westbank . It's a former Walmart converted about a decade or so ago into a huge supermarket, with a wall of aquariums filled with live fish, more ramen noodles than you've ever dreamed of, and a produce section with carrots the size of my...umm...wrist.

Oh, and the smell of dead fish and durian that'll knock you to the ground if you catch it in the wrong nostril.

While there, I ended up buying (yet another) pack of joss paper. I don't know why. I have no use for it, but I can't help but buy it. It's so pretty...and only 2 dollars!

Long ago, I framed a sheet or two...and I've also used it to decoupage a box. I once used it to wrap a small gift, for a person who didn't really seem to appreciate it.
Ah well, one tries.

Now I'm just too lazy to do much of anything with it, but I couldn't help but buy it.

The main reason I went was to buy herbs. The herbs there are cheaper than at the supermarket, there's a better variety....and most seem locally grown.
I got some mint, cilantro, parsley.

Oh, and Korean moon pies.
Yeah, you heard me right.

Korean freaking moon pies.

They're not very good, however.
Those Koreans might have nuclear warheads or whatever, but you can rest assured that moon pie technology is still proudly in the our hands.

God bless America.

Later that week, I made some Nasi Goreng, some type of Indonesian fried rice, with tamarind paste and shrimp and tomatoes and fried eggs and a lot of other things that added up to a big blah.
It was ok, but not worth the effort.

I also bought some bread from the local Vietnamese bakery, which I also always do when I go there, three loaves, fresh from the oven, for a dollar. You can't beat that.

Ominously, the place seems to be on the verge of being invaded by hipsters. How they ever found their way to the westbank, I don't know.
Something is clearly wrong with the world when one sees hipsters on the Wank.

One, clearly a hipster émigré from the North, and his girlfriend were leisurely wandering the aisles in front of me---she dressed in the standard skinny jeans/ American Apparel top uniform.

He, however, was bare chested, barefoot, long wavy hair wrapped up messily on top of his head, taut body wrapped loosely in an off purple sari...(in February?)...like some kind of wannabe Devendra Banhart, but better looking.

Shiva, as cast by Abercrombie and Fitch.
Yeah, he was hot.

Of course I had to follow them.

Sure enough, somewhere in the ramen noodles he turned a bit too fast, and don't you know he wasn't wearing underwear.

The lingam was in the macaroni, baby.

I didn't get a picture of that, but I did get a picture of this Thai aluminum serving spoon:

$ 3.00!

Feb 22, 2010


I wonder what is the proper etiquette for when one's friend's ex husband responds to one's personal ad?

You know, just in case that...um...might have happened.


Feb 20, 2010

so lovely.

"sensual dishes"


erotic cooking classes - mw4mw - 27 (4705 Freret Street)
Date: 2010-02-19, 8:22PM CST
Reply To This Post
erotic cooking classes features a male and a female instructor, wearing only a cooking apron. sensual dishes will be offered. exploration is encouraged.

Location: 4705 Freret Street
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

So almost every word in this cracked me up---from the premise, to the category ("misc. romance") to the address.

Anyway, what's a "sensual dish"? God, I hope it's bacon.

Feb 17, 2010

Still life

Suitcase beside stoop, urine in jelly jar.
Mardi gras day, 2010

(insert story here)

Feb 14, 2010

samedi gras

I spent the day with Michael and his friend Paul uptown, watching a string of parades. I can't even count how many.

I could have taken photos of the floats (like this masterpiece of aluminum foil) or cute boys, but there were other, better things to photograph.

Like this:

Unfortunately, my camera can not quite capture the divine shade of apricot sherbert of this mullet. I'm hungry just looking at it.

The toy soldiers. There was one queeny one in the middle whom I missed do a turn.

Unfortunately, I also missed seeing (and photographing) the "bipolar" "sex addict" whom Michael located on his iphone's Grindr app, who was marching as a cheerleader security guard.


Back at Michael's place, the mink stole of a semi famous hollywood celebrity* (*initials JC, and I don't mean Jesus Christ)whose ex boyfriend was once Michael's tenant.

I thought it looked best like this, as a nature morte, so to speak.

Poetry...sucking on a juice box

Steve Zahn (and Michael's head). He was standing right next to us. Later, he graciously indulged us in letting us take photos with him.

King Kong (and those god damned illuminated rabbit ears that ruined all of my other photos)

The hero of the day, Drew Brees, who may be the single most popular man in this city, ever.

Feb 13, 2010

which valentine is yours?

Pick your own!
Which one best represents your V-Day?

shamelessly stolen from sissydude





shamelessly stolen from the haunted lamp

F. shamelessly stolen from (and made by) sissydude


shamelessly stolen from michael guy

Feb 9, 2010

Ten more things I need now

Because I'm a greedy bastard:


This Warhol (because I'm in a gold kind of mood)


This watch. Do I even need to explain why?


Some of these brand new ketchup packs....twice the amount of ketchup and you can dunk the fries in!


A Volvo P 1800 (found by way of Mistress MJ )


Gold or copper Doc Martens (the better to see up girls' skirts)


Laptop case (previously seen at laurel street )


Table (previously seen at stella's roar )


This room


This Gilbert Poillerat mirror (previously seen at The Haunted Lamp)


The house from "A Single Man" (oh, and every single person and object in said film, thank you)

Feb 8, 2010

the musik: ebony bones

books and music

Saturday, being at loose ends, I made my usual trip to the public library. I wonder if it's even open today. It's like a federal holiday today, right?
Anyway, here's some of my haul:

The Gore Vidal book is like a scrapbook, filled with pictures (for people like me too lazy to read). He's someone I think I'd love to have dinner with, but then afterward, I'd probably realize he was kind of a drag. You know those people? Anyway, the book is kind of like that. He was pretty cute back in the day, no?

The book about Lucia Moncenigo bored me. I just wanted a way to escape to Napoleonic era Venice for a few hours, is that asking too much? I have not been rewarded enough. It hasn't left the floor since. The only interesting thing I found out there was that the Austrians dropped bombs carried by hot air balloons in 1849. How cool is that?

Much better is Patti Smith's Just Kids, though it demands more attention. Thankfully, as you might expect, she's a great writer. Still, you know I looked at all the photos first. I can't help it.
She recounts meeting her soulmate Robert Mapplethorpe quite accidentally.

To round things out I got an old battered Fela Kuti cd, one I hadn't heard before. The case is being held by a rubber band. It's so good I'm half tempted to steal it...or at least the rubber band.