Dec 30, 2012

Ten reasons I left Les Miserables early:


1. The fact that this was *not* the poster.

2. The fact that for 2 hours or more, no sign of Hugh Jackman's penis.
None!

3. The "singing"

4. The fact that I hadn't really wanted to see it in the first place, just the costumes, and Hugh Jackman's penis...in a costume.

5. The 60 something couple behind me who kept talking: ("Oh my god...listen honey, that's that song by Susan Boyle!")

6. Betsy, the 90 year old immaculately dressed hunchback sitting next to me, (with what I hope is Tourette's), who screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs during the trailers.
Three times: Loud.

7. The indignant "theatre" gays who lisped out an angry "Will you PLEASE be quiet!" at Betsy.
Thee times: Loud.

8. The fact that I had to pee.

9. Betsy's  70 something friends who yelled. "Shut up Betsy, you're acting like an asshole!" To which Betsy responded "I don't give a shit!" and then veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery sloooooooowly hobbled her way out of the theater in a huff.

10. The acrid smell of burning plastic.  "You smell that? What's on fire?" 



Dec 23, 2012

From the Trailerparks of Middle Earth


Who needs to see "The Hobbit" in 3D when you can see this in on the truck ahead of you?

Btw, "Bye!" is totally Quenya for "Bitchin'"



Dec 15, 2012

Dear Santa...

here are a few things I need. love, jason
money
a little sugar...in my bowl
a vacation

some stamps

a new cellphone
three cars, a yacht and a butler