Jul 29, 2010

martinis at matinee

Yesterday Carlos and I went to see a matinee of Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.

Yes, that makes the third time I've seen it. I'm sorry. It happens. He hadn't seen it before.

While there, two young matrons were chatting it up behind us, feet up on the ottoman, downing glass after glass after glass of white wine.

I wasn't that distracted, you know, having already memorized the movie....I could do Melissa River's Valley girl whine by heart now....but poor Carlos was.

Throughout the movie he gave them the evil side eye...and every now and then I did the same, but more sheepishly.

And, then, bingo, suddenly two martinis appeared for us.

Even more suddenly, the less drunk one was behind our seat...whispering in our ears, apologizing for her friend, whom she blamed for being the loud one.

After the movie ended they clearly wanted to chat. We learned that the drunker one was the wife of the theater owner. There was an invitation for more drinks with them at the bar afterward.
We...um...politely declined.

I told Carlos they were like cougars...but not quite. Ocelots perhaps? I don't know.

They weren't after young lovers so much as prowling for a more dangerous, elusive prey, the gays. Yesterday we were able to herd ourselves safely away from the watering hole. Next time, however, we might not be so lucky.


MJ said...

Oh those poor woman.

Somebody should tell them that you can't go shopping for gays like you go shopping for shoes.

Or can you? Is there a sale I should know about?

madtexter (corey james) said...

The cougars certainly love a challenge, and they certainly took it to the next level in this case.

And they should've sent you free drinks during the movie! Because after the movie is when YOU become their entertainment.

Smart move.

Jill said...

Apparently, they don't have my skills!

Anonymous said...

"wife of the theater owner?"

You just bypassed your tickets into being film stars for their Pampered Chef parties and smuggled movies over the border (back room of Taco Bell: well-known racket).

Back to staring at push bush.

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

"I'm sorry. It happens." I haven't seen this movie yet, but I understand this sentiment ("A true friend's work is never done").

And two martinis appearing is about the best ending imaginable. Even if it's actually the middle and not the end. It's like ending a failing joke with finding $50 (50USD) instead of $5 (5USD).

Michael Rivers said...

Isn't the movie fantastic!! I saw it 4 times. And I also did the big opening weekend event in Minneapolis. A lot of fun!

Mean Dirty Pirate said...

If only they had been men...

Breezy said...

Having martinis early in the afternoon is the way I would love to live my life. Now, thinking back on it, I think we should have taken them up on their offer. We could have totally made up our own story about our background. Next time!