very random gratuitousness

1. Brigitte

2. Maureen

3. Liz

4. Angelina*

5. Cyd

6. Edie
7. Tess


8. Raisinface


9. Nastassja

*happy birthday

unused shoes

I have an addiction to buying shoes on sale...shoes I end up not wearing.


As you can see, I have at least 4 versions of the same shoe, sort of a driving shoe. It's always hot here, so in the summer (and much of the rest of the year) one must wear shorts. It's a dilemma. I usually wear some horrible slip on sandals which are truly heinous...ok, maybe just heinously boring.

I've bought others, nice ones, but they end up chafing (because I walk a lot), and the leather soles get smelly. The ones I wear now have a rubber sole, and don't get so smelly.

All of these shoes have been bought with the idea of replacing the wearing of my tacky sandals. None have worked.

I've tried wearing the Sperrys (right bottom) a few times, but it felt as though my feet would suffocate. The green suede Converses I've only recently started wearing...now that they are vintage (ok, 5 years old).

The others, I don't wear.

None of these driving shoes really fit well, though I like the idea.
The Rockports (upper left) once gave me blisters after walking 100 feet from my car to my door. No lie. They've never been worn since (though they are waterproof and washable, so they say).
I bought those white ones because I hate white sneakers. They're acutally very comfortable, and I've worn them a few times, but I always feel like a hypocrite wearing them.

It's one of my fashion pet peeves....big white sneakers.
So of course I bought some, in the theory that anything I loathe that much needed to be tried at least once, right?

Roto-ruta

It's Ruta Lee's birthday, I see by way of dlisted.
74, can you believe it?

Who is she again?
Oh yeah, I can hear her voice echoing again
in my childhood mind right now.


Anyway, I'm bored. It's raining.
I'm trapped in, but too lazy to write.

If you like a bit of porn and a bit of non porn you can visit my
goldenfleecing until the Ruta Lee holiday is over.

archandroid

I just bought Janelle Monae's newest cd, Archandroid, which is, for lack of a better word, a "concept album."
God bless her.
I love how varied it is.

This seems to be on its way to being the single, but it's not my favorite.



This is one of my favorites:




I'm not sure, but I have a suspicion that dear little Janelle's
batshit crazy, and I love it.

The 14 people you meet in hell gay groups

1. The high drama lesbian:

e.g.: 20 something. Dressed in husky boys' plaid shorts, flip flops.
Walking with a cane, post-drunk driving accident and brain surgery.
Product of Evangelical family from trailer park. Responds to all topics
with the same response: her three suicide attempts.

Quote: "So I was
like on the phone to my ex when I walked up in the room. There she was, my best
friend since I was like thirteen. Awn duh floor, dead. Bra pulled up over huh
head and firecrackers up in her ass...and dat's when I just started fallin'
out....you know?"

2. The Twelve stepper:

e.g.: 60 year old, Southern accent, Magnetic bracelets on both wrists. Magnets in his soles and in his bedsheets. Newly retired social worker, funny, but prone to having violent outbursts when flashing back to his coke days.

Quote: "Sheesh, as many times I passed out driving, I ought to be dead."

3. The Rice queen:

e.g: Tom Bosley look-alike with a hearing aid that looks like it has an erection.

Quote: (pick up line to an Asian) "So,
you're Asian. Oooo...you better watch out, I love them Asians!"

4. The Adorable lesbian couple:

e.g.: A. 60 something former nun/nurse. B. 50 something comedienne with 23 year old son.

Quote: "We're having a potluck. You should come!"

5. The Gay male couple (who look like twins):

e.g.: A. 40ish, with goatee, dressed in Banana Republic. B. 40ish, with goatee, dressed in Banana Republic.

Quote: "Seven years ago, can you believe it? Match.com." (in unison)

6. The Gay male couple (who do not look like twins):

e.g.: A. soft spoken retired elementary school teacher, tall and skinny.
B. soft spoken church organist, short and pudgy.

Quote: "Oh, dear. I just hope Lula isn't clawing the doors again. We just had them refinished. Cherry wood."

7. The Lesbian academic:

e.g.: 60 something, steel gray hair, Sierra Club t-shirt, recently laid off philosophy professor.

Quote: "Oh, actually, I was raised a Quaker..."

8. The Musclehead:

e.g.: 30 something, shaved head, burned to a crisp, squeezed into an Old Navy polo. Twelve Stepper is convinced he's an addict who is casing the joint.

Quote: "...."

9. The New Age stereotype:

e.g.: 50 something lesbian, big bottomed, flowy Chicos blouse, men's black slip on loafers. Art and "drum" "therapist." Nods in affirmation at everything. No discernible sense of humor. Living breathing Saturday Night Live sketch.

Quote: [re: SF) "Oh, that's where my ex is. She won't return my calls. I don't understand. I'm going out there to burn a sage stick this summer to bring some clarity to the situation, you know?"

10. The Teenager:

e.g.: 18ish, tall, skinny, bangs covering his face. Bored. Texting furiously.
Quote: Couldn't read his texts. Sorry.

11. The Asshole:

e.g.: tall, goodlooking, cocky, challenges everything, whether it needs challenging or not.

Quote:"Um...that wasn't the question, man."

12. The Black quy:

e.g.:40 something straight acting, looks like a Walmart manager. Doesn't talk much.

Quote: "Yeah, today's been hot."

13. The Snarky One in back

e.g.: quiet, but snarky, (me) with a stupid crush on The Asshole.

Quote: "oh, really....that's so interesting..."

14. The Queen:

e.g.: 30 something, overweight, very tan, Abercrombie and Fitch shirt. Very friendly. Flamingly gay. Has a 10 year old daughter. Queens always have 10 year old daughters.

Quote: "Girl, did you hear her? Bitch told that same tired suicide story
three times already. Lawd."

news break

I'm listening to Larry King's corpse drone on and on in the background when I look up and see someone listed as Philippe Cousteau, Jr., grandson of the Jacques (naturally)

He's talking about something (oh, is there an oil spill then or something? Gosh.), but all I can think of is: "omg. dreamy!"

country

This weekend I took a little trip deep into the heart of Acadiana, Grand Coteau more specifically, where people speak French and the air smells of sweet green grass
and pork fat.
Idyllic.

View from the window of my cell, taken through the window screen.



Cows, out back

Cemetery, which made me re-evaluate my position on fake flowers. Something about seeing them en masse was beautiful.

Still life with Confederate flag and solar light: even the confederates are going eco-friendly.

LSU cup/grave vase.

in other words, Louisiana personified.

Jesus of the Water Tower.


The last supper, engraved and painted in factory baked auto enamel.

The church



Tombstone from the sad days before polychrome laser-engraved Last Suppers


My room in the asylum. college. Creepy no?

Boudin



Sweet dough pies from Breaux Bridge.


A specialty of Grand Coteau called Gateau Na Na, a sort of tart with a buttery crust and praline filling, that I'd never had before. I think the sugar content must have affected even my camera.

Victim of Boudin, c. 1861

what it's all about

Menage a Cat

I saw this photo at 8 am this morning, and I've still not recovered. Not sure I ever will.
It's allegedly two French felines twins, and I couldn't help but wonder all morning long what would happen if...

+

= ?

eeeeuuuuh

a walk in the park

Yesterday, to clear my mind, after the morning's flooding rains....three feet of water in front of my home, car flooded yet again...(ahem).....I decided to take a long walk in City Park.

I took the camera and a (n empty) backpack, hoping someone would mistake me for a German exchange student, or at least a tourist from Little Rock. It didn't happen, but I still had to take a few photos to keep the illusion up.


Ducks

From the bridge

A fairly new sculpture. I remember watching the artist working on it last year or so. It's encrusted with all sorts of broken pottery shards.

the tea party birthday

So last night went was guilted into a birthday party for a former coworker, a 50 year old who wears plastic barrettes and lives with her parents in her childhood bedroom...with a guinea pig and an elderly poodle with a gimp leg.

She's a fervent teapartier who has a shrine to Ronald Reagan above the guinea pig cage and campaigned earnestly twice for Bush...and once for Palin. Now she campaigns for...uh... teabaggery.

But you knew that instinctively, right?

Her younger sister, 42 with the IQ of a 11 year old boy, catered the affair. She's actually a good cook, but likes to give all the dishes gross out names (artichoke balls = witches' warts) and announces everything with a snort.

The biggest fun of the night came from Dad's mumbled anti-Semitic "jokes" and the guinea pig shitting the floor compulsively.
Fun times.

every women's magazine ever made

Pretty much, right?

Because I'm a nerd

I kind of want them all.

"what Lady Gaga wishes was her future"

Oh, what a proud day for my home town...Michael K at D-listed has chosen
New Orleans' greatest gift to the world, Miss Chris Owens herself, as his "Hot Slut of the Day"!
There will be a parade.

The poet of our age writes:

"Dita Von Teese can stay sitting in her giant champagne glass, because this is the real queen of burlesque right here. If the glamorous vampire from Peru La Tigresa del Oriente bit into the precious neck of Cher impersonator Chad Michaels, the end result would look just like Chris Owens!

According to Wikipedia, Chris Owens has been dazzling audiences in New Orleans since the 1960s, but I think they are totally off with their dates. This is obviously a ravishing creature that seduced the troops when New Orleans was captured during the civil war. Those legs kicked up and down the bayou as the city burned!"

You can read about one of my close encounters of the fabulous kind here

Sexy ladies

A. for advertising

B. for brokedown

C. for Lesbian


D. for Debbie

E. For evil

F. for Furburgers

G. for Geri



H.for Hotflashesbitches