A few days ago, I got a call from a stern robot librarian about a book that
was "overdue."
Oops.
It took me a while to realize which, but I finally figured it out.
Like so many men before, I'd fallen under the siren spell of the Gabors.
I know the librarians are silently judging me.
Even the robot ones.
I mean, I know
I would be.
But whatever.
This tome is 750 odd pages, a goulash of gossip and trash. Too much for me to digest in fact.
I had to return it before I even got to page 300.
I was getting heartburn.
Besides, that 90 cent fine wasn't going to pay itself.
But that's why I'm here, to save you all the time and trouble of having to sift through the boring parts.
Let me get straight to the point:
Penis.
Penis is always the point of anything, right?
It seems much of the 750 pages of this tome is about penis.
(But, surprisingly, not Zsa Zsa's.)
Anyway, here, for your delectation, are some random quotes:
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| "At a luncheon in London, G. B. Shaw made outrageous claims to Zsa Zsa about his first meeting with a future queen he defined as a 'little harpie and an annoying vixen'". |
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| "'Even though I didn't have to, I was naked under the blanket,' Stewart Granger later said. 'It made me more authentic in the role, and it gave the gay men on the crew a thrill when I stripped down. So why not?'" |
 |
| "Although the decadent (King) Farouk was said to have the 'tiniest penis' in Egypt' Zsa Zsa always maintained that he raped her..." |
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| "Earlier in that day, Rubi, learning for the first time that Lance had homosexual tendencies, called him aside. He whispered to his stepson to be, 'Go ahead, feel it. Forget about that small dick of Cary Grant. I've got one that stretches to the moon.'" |
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| "The stars and hookers George Raft bedded....referred to his penis as 'Black Snake'" |
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| Aboard a flight to Paris "...Zsa Zsa sat next to a young woman 'with kinky hair and bad skin'": Jacqueline Kennedy." |
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| "To borrow a line from Frank Sinatra, Zsa Zsa's former rapist, she did it Her Way..." |
