Feb 26, 2011

thought for the day

post ball...

Had a lovely time at the Satyricon ball last night.
I was dressed in a lavender lame cutaway coat, green velvet knickers, an orange ruffled shirt...a cravat made from a lampshade found in my neighbror's garbage, oh, and tassled red velvet fez...found on the street.

I looked like an organ grinder's monkey, but the PRINCE of organ grinders' monkeys, dammit.

Feb 21, 2011

Feb 20, 2011

krewe de blur

Last night was the first parade of the season, the usually witty and always scatological Krewe de Vieux.
No matter what the theme is, they seem to manage to have penises and Styrofoam sperm out in force.
Recycling, I guess.
They were a bit heavy on the Sarah Palin stuff.
Old news, people, old news.

(Though the Sarah Palin as an iditarod musher, whipping a husky who was shitting out dollar bills, was almost funny. Almost)

But anyway.
I vainly brought my little 99 dollar camera out there hoping to take photos.
Nothing came out, of course. Silly me.
Not the horde of Black Swans (I'm already bored of that, thanks), or the nearly naked young girl in a black latex SM mask with bunny ears and electrical taped nipples (not bored of that...yet).

Even the ones I took in daylight were out of focus. Sorry. I really am the world's worst photographer, I think. Still, some of the bad photos I still kind of liked.

Feb 17, 2011


So, I can't help but notice that in my little poll of men-I-might-have-once-touched, no one got the right answer (it's the poser, number D)....or realized that my "touching" consisted simply of having my picture taken with him. Lame, I know.

More interestingly, is that in my little poll "Ginger" there got the most votes.
Can't say I blame you all. What's not to love???

Anyhows, here are a selection of other ginger lovelies culled from my tireless perusal
of porn the internet

1. Ginger McDaddy

2. Ginger McPrep

3. Ginger McPretty

4. Ginger Mc Jock

5. Ginger O'Moptop

6. Ginger Mc Package

7. Ginger McNap

8. Ginger McPout
9. Ginger McQuiff
10. Ginger Mc Twins

11. Ginger McCool

12. Ginger McPorn
Ginger Mc Sigh

Ginger McHipster
Ginger McPussy

So, on which one would you like to connect the freckles?

The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger

Feb 16, 2011

thought for the day

Overheard: 2:30 pm

Student: "Hey, you 'member Nyesha?"

Me: "Hmmm...you mean from like 10 years ago?"

Student: "Yeah. She my cousin."

Me: "Really? How's she doing?

Student: "She just got outta prison!
Oh, and she gone have another baby."

Me: "Well, then.
Tell her 'hi' for me."

Feb 13, 2011

in olden days, a glimpse of stocking...

"Do not touch my hair."
"Do you feel anything yet?"

" I love you, Jim, but those pleated pants are so 1959. Take them off. Now."

"Don't ask don't tell, my ass. Ha."

"by which we mean 'Fabulous'"

" I'm Lillian Russell." "No, I'm Lillian Russell, bitch."


Feb 11, 2011

Ten things I'm wondering right now

1. Why "Tonya Harding" is a top "trending now" topic according to Yahoo.
In February.
Of 2011.

2. Why did I buy six pink valentine cupcakes for myself?

3. Why every time the administration fucks up, we're called in to be given a stern lecturing to. It's kind of like a parent gambling all of his daughter's savings away only to tell her:
"Now listen here, Sally, you just have to be more responsible with your money or else!"

4. How the black dress shoes I bought to replace the last pair, which were too unfashionable to wear anymore, have already gone out of style, without my having ever worn them.

5. Why people answer the phone when they clearly don't have time to talk.

6. Why the one bathroom, one, at work either has a working toilet or is unlocked, but never at the same time.

7. How to get that half a bottle of spilled cumin that fell behind the stove, so the kitchen doesn't smell like a cheap Indian buffet anymore.

8. Why that nice lady crack whore on Tulane last night was wearing black crocs and a blonde weave. All that plastic, but none of it where it could have helped.

9. Where those six valentines day cupcakes went.

10. Who keeps visiting here from:
"Holy See (Vatican City State) arrived from waynes-nude-musicians.blogspot.com on "night is half gone...".

Feb 3, 2011

thought for the day


Tết offensive

The other day my Vietnamese hairdresser/friend told me that tomorrow is the new year:
"We call it 'year of the cat'. Chinese, they call it year of rabbit."
Me too. I hate cat."

"Really?" I say. "I'm a leo. I think I am a cat."
"I know," she smiles and continues fucking up my hair.

Feb 1, 2011

completely gratuitious


One of these men, I actually managed to touch with my own two hands
Who is it?

(yeah, I know I know, too easy. But then so am I )

thought for the day