Musical Monday: WHITE CHRISTMAS
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Darlings, it’s time once again for our annual Christmas tradition (now in
its 18th year, if you can believe it), the perennial “White Christmas,”
done up...
Dec 31, 2012
Dec 30, 2012
Ten reasons I left Les Miserables early:
1. The fact that this was *not* the poster.
2. The fact that for 2 hours or more, no sign of Hugh Jackman's penis.
None!
3. The "singing"
4. The fact that I hadn't really wanted to see it in the first place, just the costumes, and Hugh Jackman's penis...in a costume.
5. The 60 something couple behind me who kept talking: ("Oh my god...listen honey, that's that song by Susan Boyle!")
6. Betsy, the 90 year old immaculately dressed hunchback sitting next to me, (with what I hope is Tourette's), who screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs during the trailers.
Three times: Loud.
7. The indignant "theatre" gays who lisped out an angry "Will you PLEASE be quiet!" at Betsy.
Thee times: Loud.
8. The fact that I had to pee.
9. Betsy's 70 something friends who yelled. "Shut up Betsy, you're acting like an asshole!" To which Betsy responded "I don't give a shit!" and then veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery sloooooooowly hobbled her way out of the theater in a huff.
10. The acrid smell of burning plastic. "You smell that? What's on fire?"
Dec 28, 2012
Dec 26, 2012
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 23, 2012
From the Trailerparks of Middle Earth
Who needs to see "The Hobbit" in 3D when you can see this in on the truck ahead of you?
Btw, "Bye!" is totally Quenya for "Bitchin'"
Dec 22, 2012
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 18, 2012
Dec 15, 2012
Dear Santa...
here are a few things I need. love, jason
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| money |
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| a little sugar...in my bowl |
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| a vacation |
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| some stamps |
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| a new cellphone |
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| three cars, a yacht and a butler |
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 12, 2012
answers
Exhibit B: This clown, whose book I just can't make myself read.
(I'm ashamed to admit I find myself attracted to him....cross eyes and all. dammit)
Exhibit A:
Of course it's dear old Grace Coddington, whose memoir, on the other hand, I'm very much enjoying. She's a delight.
And as Mistress Maddie says, a perfect role model for us all.
Dec 11, 2012
can you guess our mystery guest?
Mystery dates from two of the books I'm looking at the pictures of reading right now.
Ex. A.
Sample quote:
"I gazed lovingly into my husband's eyes while he, being somewhat shorter than I, stood on a box."
Ex. B.
Sample quote: "'It's like---squishy and mushy a little, and all over my clothes! Gross!'"
Sample thoughts:
Ex. A.
"I gazed lovingly into my husband's eyes while he, being somewhat shorter than I, stood on a box."
Sample quote: "'It's like---squishy and mushy a little, and all over my clothes! Gross!'"
Sample thoughts:
1. I find myself attracted to both of them.
2. I am profoundly disturbed by this (moreso by Exhibit B than to Exhibit A, however.)
2. Who has the better hair?
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 5, 2012
Recently seen (no, really)...
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| Bust of Ronald Reagan (@consignment shop) |
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| a diet coke "3D" puzzle (@ Michael's) |
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| The Ronald Reagan "Graphic Novel" (at DollarTree) |
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| The Diet Coke Xmas ornament (@TJMaxx) |
Anyway, I still think Diet Coke would have been a better president.
Diet Coke/Hillary 2016!
You know, one of those Tuesday nights...
when you find yourself alone, on a late night in Target...
wheeling around a box of plastic Christmas ornaments, a kitchen timer, a big ass cup of diet coke and....a bottle of vodka.
Again.
wheeling around a box of plastic Christmas ornaments, a kitchen timer, a big ass cup of diet coke and....a bottle of vodka.
Again.
Dec 1, 2012
Stick it
I've just returned yet another crowded suburban parking lot where every other SUV has one of these on it.
I groan each time I see one.
Next step, might be a razor blade....(to the window or my wrists, not sure.)
I groan each time I see one.
Next step, might be a razor blade....(to the window or my wrists, not sure.)
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| OMG. I may need to kill someone |
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| Just stop it already, people! |
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| Ok, not quite as bad |
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| Finally something I hope to see one day. |
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 25, 2012
Champagne Slim
Just finished putting up my little Target Xmas tree...for first time in years.
Why not, right? What the hell.
Actually, "Six and a Half Foot Champagne Slim" is how I dream of being referred to one day.
Actually, "Six and a Half Foot Champagne Slim" is how I dream of being referred to one day.
Nov 21, 2012
Nov 19, 2012
Let's play The Biglots Magical Mystery Game!
1.
2.
A.Hello Kitty chewing gum
B. Hello Kitty barrettes
C. Hello Kitty jewelry box
D. Hello Kitty's Manhunt profile
D. None of the above
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| A. "The Fine Art" section of Biglots B. The Venus of Willendorf C. Mom D. Your deepest fear E. All of the above |
2.
A. Fairy
B. Princess
C. Princess and Fairy
D. Fairy and Princess
E. None of the above
3.
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A. White Trash
B. Better than MoonPie Eau de Cologne
C. Heaven in a cup
D. White Trash
E. None of the above
4.
A.Hello Kitty chewing gum
B. Hello Kitty barrettes
C. Hello Kitty jewelry box
D. Hello Kitty's Manhunt profile
D. None of the above
Bye holy days
So, I took down my old calendar from the refrigerator today...
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| (thanks to msh) |
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| But it's still not quite time to replace it with the new (sadly, all too Gentile) one I bought today yet. Meanwhile, I've been in complete limbo since Tishrei 14. Oy |
Nov 16, 2012
Somehow or another...
I find myself on the Hermes catalog mailing list.
How'd that happen?
I'm guessing Dollar Tree sold them my name.
Nov 13, 2012
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