"I gazed lovingly into my husband's eyes while he, being somewhat shorter than I, stood on a box."
Sample quote: "'It's like---squishy and mushy a little, and all over my clothes! Gross!'"
1. I find myself attracted to both of them.
2. I am profoundly disturbed by this (moreso by Exhibit B than to Exhibit A, however.)
2. Who has the better hair?