Dec 30, 2012

Ten reasons I left Les Miserables early:

1. The fact that this was *not* the poster.

2. The fact that for 2 hours or more, no sign of Hugh Jackman's penis.

3. The "singing"

4. The fact that I hadn't really wanted to see it in the first place, just the costumes, and Hugh Jackman's a costume.

5. The 60 something couple behind me who kept talking: ("Oh my god...listen honey, that's that song by Susan Boyle!")

6. Betsy, the 90 year old immaculately dressed hunchback sitting next to me, (with what I hope is Tourette's), who screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs during the trailers.
Three times: Loud.

7. The indignant "theatre" gays who lisped out an angry "Will you PLEASE be quiet!" at Betsy.
Thee times: Loud.

8. The fact that I had to pee.

9. Betsy's  70 something friends who yelled. "Shut up Betsy, you're acting like an asshole!" To which Betsy responded "I don't give a shit!" and then veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery sloooooooowly hobbled her way out of the theater in a huff.

10. The acrid smell of burning plastic.  "You smell that? What's on fire?" 


Jon said...

I never imagined that movie would be any good. As for Mr Jackman - try this! It works for me... Jx

normadesmond said...

but what was it rated?

jason said...

Rated Z for Don't Bother.
And thanks, Jon...but heck, I would have settled for Anne Hathaway's penis.

Raina Cox said...

Best movie (experience) review in the history of ever.

mrpeenee said...

Any theatrical experience that calls itself "miserable" right up front is one I'm willing to skip.

MJ said...

8. The fact that I had to pee.

You need the Roadbag.

Jon said...

The Roadbag - essential for Wagner, I would assume... Jx

Marshall said...

So I can let Carlos know that you don't want to see it with him? Got it.