I had thought that last year's holiday shopping bathroom experience, you know, when two loaded pistols were laid on the floor six inches from my terrified feet, was frightening...well, until tonight.
Entering a quiet suburban Target men's bathroom, I caught a
glimpse of two size 10ish spectator pumps, one a bit scuffed at the toe, both with a modest heel.
As I sat down, their wearer stood up, flushed the toilet 10 times in succession, went out and ran the water for a good 5 minutes, while I strained to see through the cracks.
I was too far from the door to see, but it sounded for all the world like a vigorous brushing of teeth.
Suddenly through the stall cracks, I could see a rush of Lane Bryant leopard print chiffon, and it was gone.
I finished up as quickly as I could, hoping to catch a glimpse of he/she/it in the store, but alas, he/she/it was gone. The only trace of this phantom was few tiny drops of fresh blood on the stall floor.
WICKED Star Cynthia Erivo on LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
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10 comments:
Very strange!! I guess you have to stay out of that Target? At least the restroom!
We haven't heard a peep from Ayem8y for a couple of days.
Could it possibly have been?
bizarro.
I'm with MJ. Only ayem8y would wear black and white spectator pumps with that top. And probably no pants.
The whole CSI implications of the blood, though.... I just don't know. Maybe you should start pooping at home.
I've just returned from the most awful experience in the ladies room at TARGET where I ruined my black and white spectator pumps with blood!
So what were we talking about again?
I'm sorry, but since no one else asked, I feel like I have to. Are you SURE you were in the right bathroom?
Yuck...the pumps, the leopard chiffon, the carnage!
As the unofficial comment adjudicator, Dave wins. Send that boy an inflatable fruitcake.
Heck, I'm not even sure I wasn't in the pumps anymore
You have the worst luck in men's bathrooms, now don't you, Jason?
-Dean
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