Jan 1, 2009

Five minutes of my New Years day

I went to the mall today, thinking it would be less crowded than it had been before Christmas. I was right.

While there, I stopped into the men's room.

I went into the stall. A few minutes later, a guy came into the next stall.

(and no, this is not going where you think it is by the way...sadly).

I heard him put the toilet seat up and close the door.

Then, two feet from my feet, just under the partition he set down on the floor a black handgun.

Three seconds later he set down a silver one right next to it.

I tried not to breathe. I got up as quickly as I could, gave a cursory wash to the hands, (I'm not dying with germs on my hands, sorry), and nervously hustled my way out of the mall.

On my way out I tried to find a mall security guard, but couldn't, and frankly I didn't want to be there any longer than I had to be.

I'm sure he'd left the bathroom by the time I'd gotten to out of the food court, and I have no idea what he looked like. I only saw the two handguns, and that's all I needed to see, so there would be little info I could tell anyway.

I haven't heard of any mass killings at the mall today yet, so I guess it turned out all right, but it does make me wonder.


The Other Andrew said...

Sweet baby Jesus. Get the fuck outta there.

sam said...

rent's high and the economy's bad. stores are going mobile.

was there a message trying to be sent? or was that just his bad etiquette?

jason said...

that's exactly what I was wondering too, sam...what's the message?
Is there one?
At first I thought it was a tacit show of intimidation or something.
I couldn't figure out why he would (stupidly) expose them. But perhaps he needed to take them off simply to undo his pants, to keep them from falling out. Who knows.

ilduce said...

Add "going to the mall" to the list of things I no longer miss.

And using publis restrooms to the list of things I'll no longer do.

ayem8y said...

I was wondering where I left my handguns, thanks for jogging my memory.

The reason you couldn't find the security guard? He was in the bathroom!

larry said...

omg!!! i would have wet myself!!! thats scarey.cruising the john has become a near death experience...

"Tommy" said...

well were they revolvers or autos... if revolvers i would have hauled ass... if autos he might have been a cop..

jason said...

Trust me, he was no cop. He was a straight up hood.

TJB said...

Jason, Jason, Jason... Rule #1 is: s*** at home, darling! Your precious, dainty ass should never touch public porcelain.

Frankly, I would have been s*itting bricks if I saw that, so I guess I would have been in the right place.

Elizabeth said...

Yikes! This never happens in the ladies room. We keep our guns in our purses, not in our pants.

thombeau said...