Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Stefon To SNL - It feels entirely appropriate that on one of the messiest days of the year, one of the messiest characters to ever slide into the Weekend Update desk would...
Nov 3, 2009
Thirty minutes ago:
Home late and hungry, I go to McDonald's.
Waiting to pay in the drive through, I halfway watch the driver of the car in front of me roll down her window and exchange money.
There seems to be a problem.
I can't quite hear.
Suddenly, the cashier opens the window and throws a small cup of
Hi C at the car with a hail of loose change.
I turn off the NPR and listen.
The driver gets out of the car and brandishes her fists. Her Juicy Couture sweatsuit is wet
with red Hi C.
"Come on out hyuh, you throwed ass bitch! Come on out!" She screams, pulling frantically on the drive through window.
"You's that bitch that worked at grocery, ain't you? Come out here, punk ass scary bitch!"
In a split second the drive through window is ajar.
The driver has begun climbing through the window, head first, her Juicy Couture clad ass only just barely squeezing in.
I quickly pull out of the line and decide to cook tonight.