Apr 27, 2008

tourism

Friday morning, I thought ahead.
I've had two years' worth of experience, after all. Friday morning, I packed some clothes (just in case) and headed off to work. I came home around four, and surely enough, there was nowhere to park...nowhere...anywhere near my apartment...or even not nearby.

My neighborhood, and all adjacent neighborhoods were flooded with tourists' cars. It's the first weekend of the Jazz Fest. I couldn't afford to go, (50 dollars?), but even if I could, I wouldn't have been able to. I couldn't even get home.
I don't even really live that close to the fairgrounds. It's a good way away, but not far enough away to escape the parking problems.

Friday afternoon, as I had last year, I drove to my mother's and decided to spend a few hours there until the crowds dissipated. While there, however, the rains came torrentially, and I was flooded in. There was water in a few houses not too far off.
It's been raining all weekend. You'd think that would keep the crowds away, but it doesn't seem to have.

So what was supposed to be a few hours turned into the weekend, a "vacation," as it were, in the suburbs. It was one long endless trip to BigLots/Target/Dollar Tree, and lots of bad suburban food.

I've just gotten home now. The tourists are still wandering the neighborhood in the rain, looking for their cars.

Just to rub it in, I check my email before heading to bed and get this note from (my perpetually pessimistic) friend Mark:

When I was flying back to Toronto this morning, guess
who was in line in front of me to board the plane: Tim
Gunn of Project Runway.
He was sitting in seat 1A in business class,
was wearing a suit (dark with white stripe, but not
all that appealing, frankly). That was my only brush
with celebrity. Of course all the men of NYC ignored
me, not that there were all that many appealing ones
that I came into contact with. The most fascinating
one to me was one of the ushers at the Broadhurst
Theater. Will give you the full recap of the trip
later.


Tim Gunn!
Xanadu!
Just to rub it in further, here's the photo he sent, outside the theater after having seen it:

Bastard.

10 comments:

joe*to*hell said...

well it doesnt sound that bad actually

save some cash, mama feeds you....you get to relax.....

as for new york, it sucks. xanadu is fun, but the damn tourists in that area will make you want to hurt someone

Silly Monkey said...

Next year, get someone to drive you to school (not me--too early) that day and someone (me?) to drive you home. A weekend vacation on the West Bank makes me shiver. ;) Although I'm not thoroughly convinced that you didn't enjoy all those trips to Big Lots, Target, and the Dollar Tree.

Rachel said...

I agree with silly monkey. There is a distinct pleasure in falling into Target trance.

nolageek said...

Tim Gunn? And no picture? Uhg. I feel ripped off. :)

jason said...

Sorry, Vincent, no one takes photos of hot older men in planes.
oops.
Sorry.
And yes, you're all right...as Rachel puts it, a "Target trance" can soothe any soul. But still, you try spending time with my mother. It's a test even of Target's abilities.

And thanks Jason.
Now where do I find someone to wake up at 5 am?

Michael said...

I once left an inappropriately forward message on Tim Gunn's voicemail. Adore TGunn.

You need to see Xanadu. So funny and Cheyenne Jackson's thighs own me. It's worth the price of admission to see them poking out of satin booty shorts. Shrines should be built to them.

NatureJockk said...

Well, one more weekend for Jazz fest. I do not go any more, but I know to stay clear of Elysian Fields and City Park during those weekends.

I used to have a place in the Marigny, Chartres street just before Frenchman street, and when the French Quarter fest, or Mardi Gras or other stuff happened, I could not move my truck for days, in fear of not being able to get a place to park.

I do sympathize with you.

mrpeenee said...

The West Bank - it's Da Best Bank.

jason said...

Oh Peenee, the fact that you know that makes me love (and pity) you.

And Michael, details please!
About Tim...and Cheyenne's thighs, more importantly.

All Things Bright and Beautiful... said...

Dear Jason , I think we should put out a collective "hat" so you can go to the festival next year and not end up in suburbia!