Apr 19, 2008

"Seven Dating Rules to Ditch"

Whenever I check my email, microsoft uses its infinite wisdom to hand pick articles that their robots have determined must be in my best interest. The one staring pathetically at me beneath my empty email box is titled
"Seven Dating Rules to Ditch." Here's a handy synopsis:

Rule #1: Never date a co-worker
"Obviously, there are plenty of good reasons to be cautious if you’ve fallen for someone you’ll be running into every day at the office coffee pot. But unless your company handbook forbids relationships between employees, there’s no reason why you should abandon any hope of romance..."

Hmmm...Not applicable to me , well, unless I wanted to date elderly religious fanatics perhaps.

Rule #2: Always wait for the third (or fourth... or fifth) date to have sex
"OK, so we’ve all heard a relationship is doomed if you sleep together too soon. But sometimes our feelings just get the best of us, and that doesn’t necessarily mean it will amount to nothing more than a fling. Rather than sticking to some rigid, “no sex until date six” rule, trust your gut and enjoy the moment if it feels right for both of you..."

I think she's probably on to something here, but I'm all I'm aiming for is a second date most of the time, let alone to "sleep together." Sheesh.

Rule #3: Rebound relationships never last
"Give yourself time, they always say. While it’s healthy to mourn a relationship’s passing, that doesn’t mean you should ignore anyone great you meet while you recoup. “Not all breakups are the same,” explains Brent Atkinson, Ph.D., of The Couples Clinic (www.thecouplesclinic.com), adding that some couples have mentally broken up months before things become official..."

Ok, I can see that this might be true. Still, I've never seen it happen in real life.

Rule #4: Never date a friend’s ex
"Your friends’ exes are usually off-limits when it comes to dating… but what if you felt a genuine connection with a friend’s old flame? This scenario can create a delicate situation for everyone involved, but according to Dennie Hughes, author of Dateworthy, there are ways to make it work. If you alert your pal to your feelings before acting on them, your friendship doesn’t necessarily need to suffer..."

I think the key is probably time. If your friend has moved on, it's probably fair game, but still...

Rule #5: Only date one person at a time
"Every so often, the stars align, and several new prospects come along at one time. But contrary to popular wisdom, you don’t have to settle for just one person. Hughes notes that playing the field is the smartest way to find what you’re really looking for....”

Finally a rule I can get completely behind. Eggs, baskets...you know the rest.

Rule #6: Wait for your date to say “I love you” first
"Saying the L-word for the first time is a huge turning point in any relationship, so it’s no wonder why most people say you should wait for your partner to take the lead..."

Another one I can get behind. All terribly hypothetical, of course.

Rule #7: Couples who are in love spend all their free time together
"One of the perks of being in a relationship is always having a standing date to do anything, from going dancing to washing your car. But that doesn’t mean you and your partner have to be joined at the hip. Spending time apart is actually a secret of happy couples, according to Hughes..."

Well, this one is just so obviously stupid, it has to be "broken." But then again, there are any number of people I've seen who've made that mistake, the mistake of spending all their free time together. This is something I wouldn't want to do ever, no matter what. As co dependent as I can be, even I know this is bad.

Anyway, what would you add, (other than not listening to dating advice at all) to this list?

Read the unabridged, full-of-anecdotal-evidence article by Lisa Cericola, the self proclaimed 'queen of rebound relationships' here


thombeau said...

What's this "dating" of which you speak?

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Well, I've never been in a relationship, but I'm all for ditching number 7. I figure I could spend maybe 20% of my free time with someone I'm dating, tops.

Silly Monkey said...

I don't know, Jason, after awhile those elderly religious fanatics start looking good. ;)

ayem8y said...

After all of these years of dating only to find out now that I’m not supposed to have SEX on the first date...

Miss Janey said...

Dating only one person at a time needs to GO. Most dates turn out to be duds. One must increase one's chances by inceasing the numbers in play.

mrpeenee said...

Here's one that's always worked for mrpeenee: "Only date people who have a pulse." Try it, you'll see.

Silly Monkey said...

I'm thinking mrpeenee is just TOO picky! Jesus, they have to have a PULSE?

thombeau said...

Oh, the thing with Mr. Peenee is that he'll date anyone with a pulse!

jason said...

are you sure you mean

thombeau said...


mrpeenee said...

My mother told me not to associate with tough girls like you two. Now I see she was right.

jason said...

awww..you know we're just jealous.
You know we tough girls can't compete with the fast girls.