There's one missing item: If you're over the age of 21, the word boy, and especially the spelling "boi", does not belong in your nickname or self description. You can say you're looking for a boy or "boi", just be prepared for the probability that the guy will be over your self imposed age limit.
I sometimes wonder if what we now think of as the gay community, and especially the close, long-term "families of choice," is/was in some way a byproduct of oppression - that is, it was only the men (specifically addressing the gay male community - women have their whole, different, equally or more complex equations) who were most driven to friendship who had the nerve and energy to reach out and connect, and so those bonds were strong.
Now, at least in some (most, more and more?) parts of the U.S. is a shade more relaxed, that need may also be less. What makes me think this is, in part, watching the communities form and change out here in the Middle East. It's not easy for men of this region, and some at least do come together in (healther, less neurotic, more genuine) Boys in the Band way. I think, too, of Mr. Muscato, who is like a sheep-herding dog when it comes to gathering up friends - he has a deep need to connect, and make groups (and match-make, but that's a whole 'nother story). The creation of community validates the sense of self.
Losing that drive may be one of the prices paid for freedom - and I think in time we'll find new ways, in a healthier environment, to replace it.
We will endure
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10 comments:
I'm exhausted from reading it so I've decided to remain a woman.
i might take a highlighter to #7.
There's one missing item:
If you're over the age of 21, the word boy, and especially the spelling "boi", does not belong in your nickname or self description. You can say you're looking for a boy or "boi", just be prepared for the probability that the guy will be over your self imposed age limit.
I sometimes wonder if what we now think of as the gay community, and especially the close, long-term "families of choice," is/was in some way a byproduct of oppression - that is, it was only the men (specifically addressing the gay male community - women have their whole, different, equally or more complex equations) who were most driven to friendship who had the nerve and energy to reach out and connect, and so those bonds were strong.
Now, at least in some (most, more and more?) parts of the U.S. is a shade more relaxed, that need may also be less. What makes me think this is, in part, watching the communities form and change out here in the Middle East. It's not easy for men of this region, and some at least do come together in (healther, less neurotic, more genuine) Boys in the Band way. I think, too, of Mr. Muscato, who is like a sheep-herding dog when it comes to gathering up friends - he has a deep need to connect, and make groups (and match-make, but that's a whole 'nother story). The creation of community validates the sense of self.
Losing that drive may be one of the prices paid for freedom - and I think in time we'll find new ways, in a healthier environment, to replace it.
If I had a gay son, I would name him "Dixon."
I can't past the "decide to" in the title . . . .
i'm with mistress mj on this one, sugarpie! xoxoxxox
I, too, have decided to remain a woman. Although I prefer the term "woperson"
It was interesting reading not withstanding.
All too true. Particularly # 11.
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