Sep 29, 2011

Sep 27, 2011

cafeteria duty




Tomorrow night I'll be joining my friend Marshall and a few other friends for his biweekly theme potluck.

This week's theme is "school cafeteria food".

I've spent what seems like an inordinate amount of money to make two dishes that I remember from my days at school. Makes me appreciate how cheap school lunches are.

Amazingly at the last meeting, while discussing the theme to come, only two of us remembered that there was always an eerie coincidence: the cafeteria ladies would dish up spinach on the very day that the grass would be mowed.
Hmmm

I just thought this was common knowledge....so did she, but no one else there ever seemed to put two and two together.

This week's been a bitch, so my cooking will be perfunctory at best. I'd thought of actually just bringing those little milk cartons of milk, you know the ones.

That's how tired I've been, but finding them has proven to be even harder than cooking.
Why must everything in life be so difficult. grrr
Maybe I'll just supply hairnets.

Anyway, I suppose my favorite cafeteria food memory is the smell of yeast rolls and red beans and rice wafting over the playground on a chilly Monday.
Back when I was growing up, they actually let the old ladies cook once or twice a week. Now, it's strictly heated up prepackaged food.
Sad.
Of course, it wasn't always redbeans and chocolate cake....no....there was always the cut grass surprise (spinach).....and let us never forget the mysterious and dreaded grey "shepherd's pie".

I'm pretty sure "shepherd" means "left-over-government-patties-from-the -week-before", right?

Anyway, what's your fondest and worst memory of school cafeteria food?

Sep 25, 2011

thought for the day

just an observation



I've said it before...but I'll say it again...
you know, I've taught roughly (very) ten or so Alexises (Alexii?) in my lifetime....
and can say, without a doubt, they've all been bitches.
There's just magic in that name, I guess.


Still waiting for a Jon Erik....but I suspect she'd be a bitch too.

Sep 21, 2011

J'adore



is there a way be able to live in an ad?
That's what I want to know.

Sep 19, 2011

Hints for the gents


Don't be afraid to make an entrance.

Please don't show off your fancy new Iphone.



Always exercise to keep fit.


Ladies love a man in a hat (even if it belongs to Madeline)


You can't go wrong in a designer label.


Remember jumpsuits are for "uh men" too.



Black is a slimming, elongating color.




Don't be afraid to use a bit of discreet hair coloring.

When in doubt, accentuate your cock.

Sep 17, 2011

Love disco love



Just got this in the mail today....and as soon as I read the liner notes, I knew it would be good.
To wit:

"Lenny Bailey Strings 'Do It With Me'

There are certain things I look for in a record:
1. Did someone hand draw the logo with a bingo marker?
2. Does it sound like it was recorded by pimps and hustlers in a crackhouse on stolen equipment?
3.Do the vocalists sound like their day job is prostitution?
This track ticks all my boxes."

It ticks all my boxes too.

Alas, I couldn't find that gem on you tube, but, in lieu, here's one of my favorites:


Sep 15, 2011

Target tonight


Not seen at Target tonight:

a. any single item by Missoni
(grr)
b. any single "hot new leather stud"

Seen at Target tonight:

a. one single woman using her hijab for hands-free iphone use.
b. one single hot old leathery stud.

Sep 11, 2011

Ah....just what you need now....



And by "you", of course I mean "me".

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to romance my air conditioner
like she deserves.

thought for the day

Sep 8, 2011

hydranger


All this talk of hydrangeas has me thinking:

1. What's wrong with hydrangeas? I like them.
2. What's wrong with "loathing" hydrangeas....or any flower for that matter.
I loathe Gerber daisies, myself.
3. Who didn't know Madonna was a bitch already? I mean really. This is news?
4. I love bitches.

5. An anecdote:

My mother once told me a story about my grandmother (her mother) recovering from a stroke.
She was in the hospital and woke up one morning to see a vase of cheery yellow chrysanthemums on the table in her room. My aunt had brought them to her.

My grandmother, unable to speak ever after the stroke, and half paralyzed...still managed ...by sheer force of will....to knock those goddamned mums off the table and mouth (in French),
"Don't bring me no mums! I'm not dead yet!" to her daughter.
Yeah, she loathed mums.

6. Grandma was a bitch.
7. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Sep 4, 2011

thought for the day



when life gives you tropical storms...


Eat gelato. Or something.
Anway, we spent the worst of Tropical Storm Lee at Brocato's.
Due to the inclement weather, for once, the line didn't even stretch out of the door.



Going to Brocato's is always like taking a trip back to 1940, in the best possible way.

John's cassata, note doily.

Pastry swans. I always want to get one of these, but have a feeling that they look better than they are, you know. I always end up getting my standard Baci gelato instead. I never get enough of that stuff.


The toilet seat with a futuristic (for 1950) machine that slowly dispenses a saran wrap toilet seat condom, automatically sanitizing it for your protection.

This is what the whole city of New Orleans needs around it.
The Army Corps should get cracking on that asap.


Sep 2, 2011

needed now

For my ride



For my milk



For my paperwork


For my bed curio shelf


For my bathroom



For my soul


For my ass



For my....cat

via