Jan 4, 2010

today's scintillating itinerary

Went to the library, checked out a cool new translation of The Canterbury Tales and a big book on Dior (et. al.),

and two copies of O Magazine (don't judge. Ok, go ahead, I would, so I can't blame you). Out of misguided loyalty, I picked up the one with Ellen. Totally dull.

The one screaming "The 15 Tiny Changes That Will Change Your Life" sucked me in. After combing the magazine five full times, I still can't even find the article.
Hey, O, here's one tiny change that will change my life: fix the freaking index, ok?

Went to Wendy's, waited behind a very irate deaf woman and her mortified companion. I don't know sign language, but let me tell you, what ever that was, it wasn't pretty. Can't say I blame her, however. The cashier took her good old time getting to the register. What she was doing beforehand I don't even want to know.

Went to two different bookstores hoping to buy a copy of that Chaucer translation, only to not be able to. Very frustrating. Saw my former landlord in one of them with his very dashing (bought and paid for) boyfriend. Ducked behind the travel books to avoid being seen.

Went to Target for bread and ended up buying a cute little chrome folding table...completely unneeded, but it will replace the ugly plastic thing I've been using for the past four years.

Came home. Wasted time online. Got bored.

Decided to take my lonesome to a late showing of "Sherlock Holmes". I figured it would be worth the price for the sets and decor...and Jude Law, right?

Not quite.

But what else did I have to do? Not surprisingly, the audience was very small...and very white...actually it was the whitest, best looking audience for any movie I think I've ever seen. Scary. I sat in the back row like the phantom of the Opera. If there'd have been a chandelier, god help us all.

Came home and turned on Raoul, my longterm companion. electric blanket . Jesus, it's cold out tonight.
Now I'm off to search again for "15 Tiny Changes" that can "Change my life". I suspect one of them is putting down this stupid magazine.


mrpeenee said...

I just gave the new Canterbury Tales (by Peter Ackroyd) to R Man for Christmas. He's digging it.

jason said...

that's the very one!

MJ said...

We're betting this one won't be on Oprah's Book Club.

FelixInHollywood said...

...using the library, shopping for literary translations and going to Target...

I have judged you Jason, and you come through clean as a whistle. You are brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Why «the whitest, best looking audience for any movie I think I've ever seen.» is scary?

Elizabeth said...

Don't you hate it when the crappy mag that suckered you in (shhh! Don't tell anyone but I have actually purchased O!) make it utterly impossible to find the crappy article you thought could painlessly change your life forever?

jason said...

ah Fab: because it's just so unusual....it's almost surreal.