I finally check my email. The subject of the lone one reads:
"A New Meetup Group That Matches Your Interests Has Started! "
(I'm half excited. I scroll down to the message: )
"Dykes and Dogs!
Doggy-centered hikes, excursions, and play dates at dog parks for queer women and their friends."
(hell, maybe I could borrow a dog. I could probably pass. Better than nothing, right?)