Night Crumbs - Just when I started to say, “I’d rather fuck myself gently with a chainsaw than watch the TV reboot of Heathers (the one where the outcasts are the popular...
Feb 6, 2009
party of one
Tonight I went to yet another party...a friend's wife's birthday. I can't count how many parties I've been to in my life in which I know no one but the hosts. I don't know if any of you have been to events like this, alone, knowing no one. It's always awkward. Despite the awkwardness of it, I felt like I should be there to at least help her celebrate.
This event, was predictably a total white people event, right down to the predictable chatter about Prague/backpacking/internships/artisan cheese/Obama. Oh, and lots of ironic t-shirts.
The crowd was made up of of the hosts' coworkers and friends...and me.
The crowd came in pairs....and quickly formed up into cliques.
I spent a good amount of time, chatting up a blonde high school friend of the host's,
(one he had told me long ago that he hated) who is now a social worker. I forced myself to stay awake as she droned on and on about grad school and her time at Harvard. Then I chatted briefly with a hipster the host introduced me to.
"She lives in your neighborhood," he excitedly told me. He thought she and I would hit it off. She couldn't have been more bored by me.
Turns out she hates the neighborhood and can't wait to get to a hipper one.
Other than that, no one spoke to me, and I was too timid to try to insinuate myself into any of the tightly formed cliques. The host and hostess were too preoccupied to entertain me, not that I expected them to, so I left, feeling more than a little depressed.
It's times like these that the lonely only child, the shy outsider, the kid not in any clique...the "real me," sometimes I think, comes back with a vengeance.