This afternoon, after a long difficult day, all I found in my mailbox was a lone envelope. I opened it to find this:
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Clearly my prayers are being answered.
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My very own
Jesus paper towel "prayer rug".
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With this cryptic message^
I tried "checking my needs" on the letter's handy dandy checklist, but couldn't find "a husband, preferably my own", "chocolate cake", "bread, toilet paper, milk, eggs" or "blow job",
anywhere. Whatever.
I'll just send it back with
this and dutifully "get down on my knees." I have faith. Now, if you don't mind, I'll get back to looking into
porn Jesus' eyes.