Mar 29, 2011

check your needs

This afternoon, after a long difficult day, all I found in my mailbox was a lone envelope. I opened it to find this: Clearly my prayers are being answered. My very own Jesus paper towel "prayer rug". With this cryptic message^

I tried "checking my needs" on the letter's handy dandy checklist, but couldn't find "a husband, preferably my own", "chocolate cake", "bread, toilet paper, milk, eggs" or "blow job", anywhere. Whatever.

I'll just send it back with this and dutifully "get down on my knees." I have faith. Now, if you don't mind, I'll get back to looking into porn Jesus' eyes.

6 comments:

TB said...

OMG, I just realized that's a crown of thorns not a poorly knitted ski cap.

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Open-eyed Jesus is pretty terrifying. And I like how allowances are made for people too lazy/unable to kneel.

Nathan said...

Jesus' lacefront looks shredded in that pic!

And since you have the magical healing powers of that rug, say a prayer for me too. I'm not picky, I'll take either the chocolate cake or the bj.

Who you callin' housewife? said...

Jason, just do it. Then you'll know without a doubt that whatever you need is coming your way. Hopefully bearing a chocolate cake.

designing wally said...

I don't care if it rains or freezes as long as I have my plastic jesus....

MJ said...

Those knee pads I gave you should come in handy.