It all looked so romantic and cosmopolitan. Ever since, it's been a silly fantasy of mine. So the other day I decided I'd buy myself some flowers.
(I told a friend later that day that I'd bought myself some flowers, and he rolled his eyes and laughed. "Did you get yourself a card too?" I told him I had, but that "it might take a while to arrive in the mail." A stupid joke, yes...but, now that I'm thinking of it, hell, maybe I should have. )
Anyway, this ain't NYC.
The only thing you can find on the street corner around here is a pothole...or maybe a crack whore....or maybe a crack whore in a pothole.
For flowers, you have to get in a car. I first tried braving the bougie masses at Whole Foods, but the prices there were too steep. So I found myself at the local supermarket. I picked out a dozen roses and a diet coke and got in line behind the woman buying three Vitamin Waters and package of beef jerky with food stamps.
The cashier was near narcoleptic, with hair that looked like Buckwheat's. She could barely even mumble the price to me. She dropped a nickel of change on the conveyor and her lids started to fall. She left me to collect my roses from the conveyor belt and shuffled out, as fast as a narcoleptic can manage, mumbling to the bag boy, "hey, take over for me. I gotta go shit."
Totally romantic and cosmopolitan.
16 comments:
i want to hug you so hard right now. =)
that was very sweet.
"three Vitamin Waters and package of beef jerky with food stamps."
Clearly, on the Atkins Diet, yet on a budget. I say, kudos for perserverance.
""hey, take over for me. I gotta go shit.""
Now you know how your roses got fertilized.
Incidentally, I can't recall the last time I saw flower sellers on a street corner here; or maybe I just haven't taken notice. I'd buy you flowers, darling!
You deserve the flowers after that experience!
And you just KNOW she doesn't wash her hands after.
For years I've always kept a vase of fresh flowers at home.
It is one of the things that makes me feel my life is civilized.
So while I have no one motivated to give me flowers, I am certainly willing to do it myself...although I must concede that my flower shopping experiences don't compare to yours.
Cheers
Hey, it's like Kathleen Turner says in her autobiography title, buy yourself roses.
(Or pick them from someone's yard.)(I added that part because I am broke.)
I agree that it's so nice to be able to just pick up a bunch on the corner and brighten up your home. I'm going to have to do that when I get back to NYC.
I think it was utterly divoon of you to treat yourself! We all too quickly forget how important it is to nurture the soul.
Jesus. I can't believe I typed that. Off to a HALLMARK Gold Crown store now for a kitten calendar.
Lovely flowers and vahse.
What a nice thing to do for yourself and no doubt, you deserved it.
I see nothing wrong with buying yourself flowers. I think everyone should do it. But the story was hilarious. :)
I normally buy my flowers in the flower market where florists also buy them.
It is a great deal and I buy huge amounts. So normally my house looks like - how a bitter queen once said to me - «like someone recently died»...
The flower women there are normally quite rude but never in my life I heard such a vile expression as that. I would probably had beaten her up with some spiky roses...
Must be hard to live in New York if one is a gentle soul.
ah.... so nice....!!!!
I cannot get the image of a crack whore in a pothole out of my head!
A gay man purchases fresh flowers and displays them in a vase. A straight woman purchases silk (or plastic) flowers and displays them all over the damn house.....
Next time I'm in NO, I'll take you to my wholesaler and get you some flowers! From then on, you can go buy them wholesale!! That way you can treat yourself more often. The only drawback is that's it's in the industrial park right by the Huey P Long Bridge, I forget the street but the wholesaler is Pike's Peak.
Originally from Sydney where there are flower sellers all over the place, so it was a bit of a shock that here in Toronto, you have to hunt for a florist of any sort!
Luckily I inherited a beautiful yard full of blooming plants when I bought my home. So no need to wait for someone to buy me flowers. Once when I was in New Orleans, I tipped a drag queen and she kissed me on the cheek. When I left the bar a street urchin selling roses (on the corner btw…) said, “Would you care for a rose to go with your lipstick?”
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