Jan 27, 2009

cough cough



Like Camille up there, I've been coughing for a month or more, but not as well dressed.

It's run the gamut from delicate Camille-like coughs, to hacking up chunks of lung.
I began today coughless, but by nightfall I was coughing up an invisible hairball. You never quite know what kind you'll get.

It all started sometime around Christmas, just in time to ruin my holiday. It's an annual occurrence, this, so I can't say I'm surprised. It usually comes at the same time. It's prompted by my allergies, and aggravated by the constant change of temperatures here, literally snowing one day, and needing the AC on a few days later. Each time the weather changes, my cough seems to return with a vengeance.
It has gotten better, but it just won't go away quite completely.
In the meantime, I've been taking everything I can think of, from Mucinex to Robitussin to bags of Ricola to Off-brand-i-tussin to Echinacea tea...to the precious gift of purloined Codeine (a gift from my father).

And it's helped, but not enough to be completely free of it...yet.

My mother, being the helpful loving nag soul she is, has pressured and pressured me to go to the doctor, but I have thus far resisted. Yes, I'm childish and neurotic, but in my (weak) defense, I'm not without some reasons for resisting:

Reason one: years ago, when I first went to the doctor for this same annual ailment, he told me he couldn't do anything for me, but write a prescription for codeine (which didn't help much), two: it is getting better, albeit slowly. 3: I'm scared of doctors. They weigh you.

Since her efforts to get me to the doctor haven't succeeded, she did the next best thing. She asked one of the women at her beauty parlor.

Betty is a stick thin, leathery, slightly hunch-backed, spry 65 year old.
She has an flair for clothes a 40 year old truck stop hooker might wear, perfectly spiked blonde frosted hair and lungs that are just as perfectly spiked and frosted with nicotine, I'm sure.

Apparently, according to this sibyl of the smoker's cough, Delsym cough syrup (chased by a shot of gin and a cig, no doubt) will "cure you right up."
So that's what I'm on now.

I'm almost finished the bottle. Wish me luck.

14 comments:

thombeau said...

Jason! You don't want to develop chronic bronchitis. It sucks!

Have you thought of someone schooled in Chinese medicine? That sort of thing has worked wonders for me, for a number of ailments. Just an idea.

Get better, sweetie!

jason said...

thanks Thom. Interesting.
What'd they prescribe?

I'll probably just break down and submit to my mother's wishes (I mean really, is there ever really a choice but to submit to her?) and go to the doctor.

thombeau said...

Well, do something, honey. Over-the-counter stuff ain't helping!

ilduce said...

I think I'm more afraid of Betty than any doctor!

At the very least, march down to the nearest hospital, park yourself in a busy hallway and set your sights on the first cute doctor that catches your eye, then insist on being "examined" by him! That's how I do it...

fendor said...

you know, you can refuse to be weighed.....

Salty Miss Jill said...

I love Betty. She sounds fabulous.
Hope you feel better soon!

TJB said...

I've resisted going to the doctor for my nagging cold (not a nagging mother), as well; I'm from the school of thought that you only drag your carcass to the doctor if you have a fever of, oh, 106. However, taking so much Thera-Flu and Tylenol Cold & Flu, combined with years of gin martinis, has left me a bit concerned about the state of my liver, so I may break down and visit the good doctor if I don't feel better by tomorrow...

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

So, do you want to be weighed? Or do you want to be cured right up?

I'd go see Betty. Getting your hair done could be a bonus.

Silly Monkey said...

I'm afraid of doctors, too, for reason #3! Sort of. Not that they weigh you, but many make you take your shirt off. =:o

I know a homeopathic doctor in New Orleans who won't weigh you, if you're interested. :)

Miss Janey said...

MIss J wishes Jason good luck with this remedy. Miss J's own coughing spasms usually start in January and have sometimes been so bad they have led to vomitting in teh gutter. Attractive, no?

Inhalers, nasal spray- all for naught.

While you're resting, there's a story over at Miss J's place that ought to make you feel better. At least you're not in jail...

ayem8y said...

It’s the dreaded Gulf Coast Crud. It’s exactly what you described the constant spike in temperatures from one extreme to the next over and over. It’s contagious and you can’t get over it before you are exposed to it again. You have to retreat from society immediately and let the healing rays of the sun cure you. Just my thoughts as I suffer through the same incurable illness.

Elizabeth said...

Oh honey, go to the doctor. I know, I hate the weighing part. But just say no thanks and find out what you have. Just nudging, no nagging.

larry said...

jason, my friend has had this hacking cough like you since before christmas! he went to the doctor and found out he had a lung infection! took antibiotics but then his asthma flared up!! take some buckley's cough syrup. its made in canada. its good.

Ur-spo said...

so long as you don't start singing soprano roles.