Mar 17, 2008

it's the thought that counts

I've never served in a wedding.

In fact, I've only ever attended a wedding (of a non family member) once.

I have, however, been a pall bearer four times in my life.

That said, I'm invited to my second ever non-family wedding this weekend.
(Actually, I stopped going to family weddings except for those cousins whom I liked, a small number indeed, but that's beside the point.)

My friend Ben and his girlfriend are getting married. I'm kind of excited, though I won't know but one other person there, other than the bride and groom.

I have no idea what to buy, however. What does one buy for a young couple who owns a fully furnished, beautiful house in which they've been living for the past two years?

I was all set to get a gift card from Target (I love me some Target)--it seemed useful and innocuous--until the following conversation transpired at dinner the last time I saw them:

"Oh, that's a cute top you have on," a friend tells Ben's girlfriend.
"Really? thanks," she says.
"Is it from Target?"
"Oh, no. They have such cheap stuff there, you know?" she replies.

Ohhhhhhhh kay, there went that idea.

Anyway, looking for ideas, the other day, I asked my friend Dennis for suggestions. He's been to lots of weddings. He ought to know.

He offered no ideas, but a lot of bitterness. I must have hit a nerve.

His brother (a doctor) had gotten married about two years ago or so. He and the wife were just moving into a new fabulous home the week before (helped paid for by his mother). His sister in law had mentioned casually to him that she had, "$800.00 in Pottery Barn gift certificates cluttering up the place." Such a nuisance, I'm sure.

He really went off on those Pottery Barn certificates. I can't say I blame him, especially when he's struggling to buy Target furniture (and I'm digging through the trash for mine).

He had helped them move into their new home, helped them unpack boxes and boxes and boxes of still unopened wedding gifts.

Soon his bitterness had spread to me. Much like a smile, bitterness is contagious.

I mean really, where the hell is my beautiful wedding, huh, huh?

Anyway, no time to think about all of that now, I have to get shopping.


T$ said...

they're not registered anywhere?

a few years ago, I went to a high school friend's wedding and was going to "wing" a gift...only to get the smackdown from everyone about getting something the damn registry.

"that's what it's there for!"

clearly, I'm not tearing up the wedding circuit.

joe*to*hell said...

seriously, the target gift card is amazing. everyone needs one!

but if they are honeymooning, then you can get gift certificates to restaurants where they are going.

damn heteros and their rituals.....making me pay and i get shit!

ayem8y said...

Ungrateful! If I can't get married then I should be exempt from having to buy unwanted and unecessary gifts.

Ur-spo said...

weddings are quite overrated but you can get good food and watch people doing outrageous things.

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Are you a Sex and the City fan?

If so, remember when Carrie gets married to herself and only registers at Manolo Blahnik?

Just an idea.

Silly Monkey said...

Oh, please come clutter up my house with $800 in Pottery Barn gift certificates! I'll take them off that little ungrateful bitch's hands. ;)

That's a tough one, Jason. But like T$ said, they must be registered some place. That said, a week before the wedding, there are probably only really expensive items left on the list.

mrpeenee said...

I think the only real point of agitating for Gay Marriage is so we can get presents. And then I want a shower for my cat.

Breezy said...

Do they strike you as a couple who would bother to register?

jason said...

They actually weren't registered anywhere. I actually asked (a bit gauche on my part, I suppose, but I was desperate)...and was directed to a website by which I could donate to their honeymoon fund.
So that's what I did. I still feel strange not having a physical package to bring, but that's just me.