Jul 23, 2015


So tomorrow is my birthday.
 Today I received another lovely package in the mail.
One that I still haven't been able to bring myself to open.
They're from my friend, Mark.

He's in the later stages of ALS, (Lou Gehrig's disease) a disease I would not wish on my worst enemy.
It's been beyond heartbreaking to watch him go through this.

He, however, has gone through this with remarkable grace. I doubt I ever could be that brave.

He is preparing to die soon, and has been sending me some of his beloved stuff, mostly books and dvds and such.

I am so grateful to have a bit of him, something physical that I can treasure....but I haven't been able to make myself actually open them yet.
 I'm a terrible friend.

Somehow I feel like if I open them, it'll all become real.
Like really real. Stupidly, I want to stay in denial, ignore the truth.

But I'm going to make myself open them tomorrow
I'll have a good long cry, I know.

I just feel so impotent. He lives thousands of miles away from me now, so all I can do is write, but I never know what to say.
 There isn't anything much I can say, except to listen to him....and remind him that he is loved.

And pray. I do a lot of that.
I mean, it might not help, but it can't hurt, right?
That's what I always say.

Anywho, if any of you have any spare good energy or prayers, please send it up his way.

I know it's what I'll be blowing the birthday candles out for again this year.


Diane said...

Oh darling! This stuff is SO hard and it just seems to be happening more often as we age. Much love to you and many good thoughts sent to him. XO

normadesmond said...

what i hope for your friend is: no pain.
you of course must endure the pain.

if we care, we hurt. it sucks.

ayeM8y said...

I've been finding prayer to be most helpful lately. We all must soldier on for the sake of those who have lost or are in the process of losing their lives.

Happy Birthday!

Now get out there and live it up...LIVE...LIVE...LIVE...

Raina Cox said...

I'm sending love and good thoughts to the both of you.

Happy birthday, Beautiful!

Michael H said...

I didn't know this about your friend Mark. I'm so sorry to hear this Jason. I'll keep him in my prayers.