Jun 27, 2011

come as you are...

So....we're going on a trip to Seattle in a week or so.

Neither John nor I has ever been, so we're a bit clueless.

The chief attraction is that it's not hell on earth New Orleans in July.
Anything else, I figure, is gravy.

I've never been anyplace so far north, or so far west....or so far white.
I've been studiously studying what white people like to minimize the culture shock, but I'm not sure if that'll help.

Desperate for some help, I even posted an ad on the Seattle Craigslist.
Um...no, not like that. Jesus, you people have dirty minds.

Speaking of which, did you know that craigslist requires a phone number to make a post now? WTF
Very invasive. I'm sure I'll be bombarded with who knows what sort of crank phone calls now.

Thus far, no helpful Seattlite has responded to me, however.

I mean I expected at least one:
"Why don't you look on the internet, stupid bitch.
Do I look like the Chamber of Commerce?"
But not even.

So, any of you ever been up there?
What do you recommend, you know, after we've seen Starbucks?

Jun 26, 2011

Whose moon is in Uranus?

Mr. Aries

Señor Taurus

the Misters Gemini
Mr. Cancer

Sir Leo

Mr. Virgo
Mr. Libra
Mr. Scorpio

Mr. Sagittarius

Mr. Capricorn

Mr. Aquarius

Mr. Pisces

via goldenfleecing

Jun 24, 2011

¡Viva el sofa!

I won't go into the ridiculous melodramatic angsting that followed the horrible deeply traumatic desecration of my sofa a few weeks ago.....

I've been earnestly shopping for a new one....and earnestly putting off the purchase of a new one....for two main reasons:

a. I haven't completely decided what I want yet.
b. I'm poor.

In the meanwhile, I've been decorating on a limited budget:

I pulled out this blanket I'd bought in Mexico a million years ago when I was 11 or so, and
It's like Tijuana all in here now, y'all!

Maybe I'll get myself out on the street like a street urchin and hustle some peanuts and iguanas to fund this new couch. Couldn't hurt, right? Besides, a donkey show would ruin my drapes.

Anyway, right now I'm sooooo resisting the urge to hang a pinata...
but only just barely.

thought for the day

via goldenfleecing

In which a new character is introduced....

So it's a month till my next birthday...and well, I kind of have an announcement.
I have a boyfriend.

I've been loath to mention it here because, well, I'm afraid of jinxing things.
You know what kind of romantic (I use the word lightly) luck (I use that word even more lightly)
I have. Sheesh. You can't be too careful. Well, I can't.

But anyway, the gist is this: he's a really great guy.
I mean really.
He's handsome and talented and funny and artistic and smart and creative
and manly.
How'd I get this lucky?
I'm scared.
I mean how many men do you know who can fire a rifle like a sharpshooter, speak Russian like a student cosmonaut, dance like a black girl, sew like Edith Head, weld like Tuesday, drive a forklift like a longshoreman, move tanks like a general, renovate like a gay man?
And that's the short list.

He's a true renaissance man. It's crazy.

Anyway, henceforth he will be referred to by the...um...clever pseudonym, "John".
I just hope I haven't jinxed things by this indiscreet announcement.

Carry on.

Jun 23, 2011


I saw one of these yesterday, parked at Burlington Coat Factory, and just couldn't help but imagine the lifestyle.
It's got to be so glamorous.

The house (Chanel chain link)

the pets

The his and her bathrooms

The luggage.

The high holidays
The paying the bills.

Jun 16, 2011


I have to apologize beforehand for unleashing this upon you, but it must be seen.
Unseeing it, however....um ...good luck with that.

via dlisted of course.

thought for the day

Jun 13, 2011

a few minutes ago...

On the way home tonight, what did I see?
None other than a circus train rumbling into town by the levee...Ringling Bros....the real deal...lions and clowns and elephants and all.
No time to take pictures, alas....and even worse, no time to run off with them either. Sucks.

(insert gratuitous shirtless circus men here to distract from lack of photos)

Jun 12, 2011

thought for the day


backlot backyard

On the way home last night, I noticed a fleet of big trucks and bright lights not far from my apartment. Immediately, I could tell it was a film crew.
It's a pretty common sight around here nowadays.
They've filmed three times in my little neighborhood, that I know of. Because I'm a curious sort nosy bastard
I convinced John to take a walk with me to get a better look. I hoped to catch sight of a celebrity in its own habitat again.
Unfortunately, all I got were these very bad photos.

Here's the inside of one of the trucks, used as a wardrobe room I think.

On the side of the house in which they were filming, they'd put up black out material with very bright lights inside of them, to simulate daylight I suppose.
When they filmed at the house across the street from me a few years ago, they'd actually built a two story backdrop outside of the kitchen window, with a painting on it.
This seemed much simpler than that.

In the car port was parked a small car sized air conditioning unit to pump cool air into the house.

(Dear Santa,
What I want for Christmas---a super high powered sub-arctic portable air conditioner the size of a Volkswagen.
Thank you.

I was too shy to ask what the movie being filmed was, but John chivalrously asked for me. Turns out it is the new "21 Jump St." movie!

(yeah, me neither)

Alas, we didn't hang around long enough to see Channing Tatum or Johnny Depp or Ice Cube... or anyone else of note.
(insert gratuitous picture of shirtless Channing Tatum to distract readers from poor photography skills here)

I passed by the house again this afternoon, but it was all gone already, like a mirage.
No celebrities at all. Not a one. No one at all.
Though that one lady waiting on the streetcar did look suspiciously like Johnny Depp as played by Keith Richards.

Jun 7, 2011

How to have style (part 5)

1.Pay attention to detail

2. Big hair is slimming

3. Thriftiness can be chic

4. Maintain your complexion.

5. Posture, posture, posture!

6. Don't be afraid to be sexy.

7.Be a lady.

8.Fur is always in style.

9. Coordinate with your environment.

10.Cultivate an air of mystery.

Jun 2, 2011


So, which one of these is yours?