"Ever wonder what that movie Carrie would have been like if it had been cast with chickens instead of people and also possibly entirely reconceived as a porno?
No? Well, does it help to know that now you'll never have to? No? Sorry."
"Yes, let's have these in brandy snifters. Let's just tip our heads back and let the chunks slide in.
The time you spent eating these is time you'll want back at the very end of your life. That's why they're served with a clock."
"Um, I guess this is a salad best enjoyed at the house of that one scary lady down the street who never leaves the house and talks to her knicknacks.
I showed this card to a friend who said, "What the hell's in that bowl-- bong water?!"
Is that why the ceramic animals are so drawn to it? Is it their magical pond?
Why have they gathered? What do they want?"
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