Mar 31, 2012

Lunch in the boring burbs


Today, my mother and I had lunch at a thoroughly ordinary suburban Chili's. 
Let's take a glance around the place, shall we?


Us


Table next to us: freshly scrubbed young Chinese woman with her father, both looking like they stepped out of a propaganda poster, chatting animatedly in Chinese over chips and salsa.
On the other side of the partition: gaggle of typical Westbank girls loudly talking about how "disgusting" their boyfriends are, over 11 am margaritas
Two tables over: a duo of beautiful muslim girls sharing a chicken sandwich.
Stolling in with his wife as we left, the 300 pound black man with elephantitis

Mar 28, 2012

this week's shopping list

Bread
milk


Salt and pepper

 



Donuts  





                                                               (And tacos)
                                                            (And a palace) 

Toothpaste
Sodomy 
(and sherbert)

Mar 27, 2012

March Chicness


March has been unusually pretty round these parts.
Too bad I haven't enjoyed it at all.
 Actually, this past month or so has been one of the suckiest ever.
Seriously.
I'll be glad when it's over.
I won't bore you all with the details, but work has been ridiculously challenging for the past few months.
I've had to work 50 extra hours a few weekends ago....and 12 to 13 hour days just about every other day (unpaid, needless to say).

I've also been battling bronchitis and high blood pressure, and just a general low grade depression.
I've been feeling overworked, unhappy and generally underappreciated.
ahem

Anyway, all this bitching is just a preface to the one highlight of my day.  It's the only thing getting me through sometimes: Chic.


This Dimitri of Paris box set I bought myself a while back has repaid the money I spent on it many times over. I play it every morning on the way to work. 

Sometimes in my darker moods, I find myself fantasizing about, oh, heaven.
If there is one, I want a  chorus of soignée Halston-clad angels singing Chic to greet me...
as I'm ushered behind the velvet rope into the Afterlife.

Oh, and I fully expect clams on the half shell up there.
And roller skates.

Yes. Roller skates, dammit.


Mar 21, 2012

Thought for the day

via

Overheard, 11 a.m.

Student, indignantly (looking at sign in sheet from previous class):
"Who in de world would name dair chile 'Duh Cootah'?
Dat's juss gross."

Her friend:
"Dat ain't no 'u'! It's a 'o'.  Girl, her name's *Dakota*."

Student: 
"oh."

Mar 19, 2012

just a song I've been



liking

Country Club Stumped

I'm wracking my brain over here trying to think of dish to fit Marshall's monthly potluck competition. The theme chosen was "Country Club Food."
 Huh?

Who voted for this??
 Oh yeah, I guess I did. But mainly because I just hoped to come dressed as, oh....Dina Merrill?
(More likely to look like Ina Garten)
Anyway, I wasn't thinking.

Fact is, I don't know nothing 'bout no Country Club. I've certainly never eaten at one.
What do white people eat anyway? It's all rather mysterious. Club sandwiches? Arnold Palmers?

So any of you classy sorts ever eaten with the country club set? I suspect you have. What do wasps serve in their natural habitat? What's waspy and cheap good?

Speaking of potluck competition, here are a few of my past attempts:
My "The Many Faces of Michael Jackson cupcakes"(chocolate frosted white cupcakes)... for the "Dish that reminds you of a celebrity" competition.  It was a very last minute addition to my Madonna "Like a Vegan" Lasagna.

From the "School Cafeteria" competition. I made creamed spinach.
Most recently, for the "Dish that reminds you of a song" theme:  a "Raspberry Torte"

And now a word from our sponsor....

Here in "Hollywood South", we have top of the line ads. Here's one from my local Pawn Shop (or is that Porn?)

Mar 11, 2012

Seven random scary things seen

1. Over-lifesized monster in window (Bywater)
2. Four foot long tassles (Tuesday Morning)
3. Pocari Sweat (Hong Kong Market)
4. used toilet paper in can next to toilet (Hispanic grocery)
5. Gluten free Vodka (Target)
6. Flaming silk flower arrangement with screaming gold eagle in flight (Hong Kong market)
7. Tiny girl with monster rollers (Library)

Mar 8, 2012

Mar 4, 2012

Let's go shoe shopping....

where the gentleman of style shops  
next to Dollar General

 
Did you know that Cadillac made boots?
Eat your heart out Hermès.

 Note the embossed alligator head on the top.
Class.

Matching red suit and hat available next door.


And not to leave out the ladies (and/or gents of even more style):

The House of Dereon quilted gilt embossed vinyl pump. 
Beyonce has a new mouth to feed, I hear.