Dec 29, 2007

"I've divorced better men than you...."

I'd actually checked this book out from the library a while back. It's a collection of personal ads from the London Review of Books. Those Brits are so damned clever.

Anyway, here are some cute ones:

'I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34.'

'List your ten favourite albums... I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward thinking man, 35.'

'Not everyone appearing in this column is a deranged cross-dressing sociopath. Let me know if you find one and I'll strangle him with my bra. Man, 56.'

'Mature gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks...damn it, I have to pee again.'

'Are you Kate Bush? Write to obsessive man, 36. Note, people who aren't Kate Bush need not respond.'

'Stroganoff. Boysenberry. Frangipani. Words with their origins in people's names. If your name has produced its own entry in the OED then I'll make love to you. If it hasn't, I probably will anyway, but I'll only want you for your body. Man of too few distractions, 32.'

'Romance is dead. So is my mother. Man, 42, inherited wealth.'


No Milk Please said...

there was an entire book of these cutting, witty, british personal ads. the brits are indeed funnier than us in many ways!

Elizabeth said...

I'd been meaning to read that book for a while, and then forgot about it. Thanks for the reminder. I'll get it tomorrow.

govtdrone said...

You still use the library? How quaint!

jason said...

Baby, I'm quaint as they come.

truewonder said...

You've visited me so I'm returning the favor sunshine! Tooooo funny, just getting off the road from a 24 hour adventure in the South, had to tinkle anyway-and now you go and cause an accident with this. Hey good to meet you, take care-

and btw-my ad would be something like "if it's 12 inches and solid gold, we're on forever! if not, we're on for dinner...all expenses you..."