Your Decorating Challenge, Should You Choose to Accept It:

This is the challenge that I face currently:

Nothing can be bigger or wider than 24 inches….(the width of the stairwell)

No holes may be put in walls (as per lease)

No walls may be painted (as per lease)

Everything must be portable. (as per Katrina)

Curtains must be at least 99 inches long (84 inches are the typical, unless custom) and no more than 10 dollars a panel. (See if you can do *that*, I dare you)

Entrance to horrible kitchen must be covered somehow

Two ghastly 70’s window units must be dealt with (I’m stumped on this one, I have to admit)

Ugly “ye olde colonial” “chandelier” must be dealt with somehow

Bathroom is literally 5 feet by 5 feet (you can sit on the toilet and wash your hands at the same time, I'm not kidding)....and on a 15 degree incline (the building is leaning.)

All items must be purchased in the few stores remaining post-Katrina.
(in which 3 salesmen told me that any furniture I bought "would take a minimum of
a month or longer to arrive")

You must purchase :
1. a bed,
2. box spring and mattress,
3. bedding, comforter, sheets,
4. Towels,
5. lamps,
6. a dining table,
7. a rug,
8. a sofa,
9. a coffee table,
10. a television,
11. pots, pans, cutlery,
12. dress 7 windows,
13. assorted other things.

All four rooms must be furnished for under 1000 dollars (which you don’t have)

Oh, and it must look good.