Apr 28, 2011

Apr 27, 2011

grocery list

1. Diet Coke

2. Coffee
3. Milk
4. Ice


6. Cake

7. Kleenex


9. Snacks

10. TP

Apr 25, 2011

social register

1. Monsieur Charles de la Toblerone: Chocolate scion, Rosicrucian, sodomite, gentleman.

2. Dr. Edward McAllister: Second explorer of the Antarctic pole in lady's hose and garters.

3. Mr. Thomas X. Carlisle IVII: The noted poet, philatelist, palimpsester, and pornographic model.

4. Mr. Edmund Bradford, Esq.: Mustachio artist, new president of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

5. Mr. John Alexander Smythe and his husband, Mr. Henry Smythe-Smith: cough drop magnates.

Apr 24, 2011

overheard, 5:40 pm

My mother, post movie:

"That Reese Witherspoon is *so* pretty, isn't she?!
She's got such pretty teeth, like a little dog's."

thought for the day

Apr 20, 2011

Conversation, 8 p.m.

Me: "You need anything?"

My mother: "Yeah. You know, they found a head back behind that store last week. Decapitated. They trying to match it to a body. Some milk.
Be careful, ok?"

Me: "lowfat?"

My mother: "yeah."

thought for the day


Apr 19, 2011

The last time I was in a gay bar....

the crowd half heartedly sucked down vodka tonics and lite beers, blankly watching the same tired videos of the same tired d-list divas that have been in constant rotation since the Pleistocene age.

Then this came on.
And everyone woke up.

Isn't it wonderful to know that no matter what sex, race, creed, sexual orientation, class or age, some beautiful things can bring us all together as one (and crack a baseball bat in two)?

Apr 18, 2011

Apr 16, 2011

Paris Match

Today, on a whim I bought a few old French magazines from a consignment shop. I couldn't resist. I fully intend to pretend to read these one day, at a cafe...just as soon as I can find some Gitanes and a fishermen's sweater. Des modes de 1959 pour les jolies femmes (or something)

quelle scandale!

My favorite article....the jeune homme timide (Jacques Charrier [Mr. Bardot, at the time, I think]) is adorable. How does one say "Aqua Velva" in French?

"Blizzard Flap"!

Harriet Carter's gone French!?

This picture of Sophia, "blonde et maigre", is worth the $1.50 right there, non?

thought for the day


Apr 15, 2011

till the cow comes home

The other day I rolled up the boring beige carpet I'd had for the past four or so years. I gave it a good vacuuming, a good beating...and a good washing with soap and water...and then I gave it to Goodwill.

I'd intended to put it back, all clean and fresh, but before it could even dry, my fickle heart saw something else.

I'd seen some cowhides on sale locally, and finally decided to break down and buy one. I'd even solicited my uncle to see if he could send me one of the hides of his own cows, but that proved to be foolishly complicated.
If only he raised zebras!

Anyway...I'd missed out on buying one (for cheap!) when I was last in Houston, and regretted it ever after. So I wasn't going to let it slip away this time. I managed to get 10 percent off too.

It's kind of like having a pet.

I call her Daisy.

Apr 13, 2011

Head in bed

What I'm reading currently

So very gay.

Apr 11, 2011

take your lonesome out tonight

So last week, I hauled myself to see The Scissor Sisters, on a school night of all things.

I had free tickets from John, but hadn't planned to go, since, truth be told, I'm not much of a fan. Yes, I know. My head on a gay stake, but whatever. I mean I like what I've heard by them all right, but I've just never been all that fanatical about them, you know? (sorry)

But I had a few friends going, and well, the tickets were free, right?

Well, let me tell you, every gay and every big girl within a 100 mile radius was there. It was rather frightening. There were even some straights.

One friend of mine had brought with her two friends, both high out of their minds. The straight one was dry humping the stair rail and the gay one (from the Army) was tongue kissing his glass. They periodically wandered off from Mommy, who was not having fun, but I suggested that she make them hold hands, like toddlers. They did. It was very sweet, until the coked up gay army guy stumbled off to get another drink. He came back empty handed since they refused to serve him. That was part of the pre-concert floor show.

The music was good, and Jake and Ana Matronic were really enthusiastic. I really loved her. They both have connections with N.O., it seems...which was rather touching. Ana's mother is from here, so she announced...and was in the audience. Even though Jake Shears was as scantily dressed as a stripper, he still couldn't manage to generate must interest in me. I don't know what it is. He's really cute, and has a great body, but the two other guys were cuter, in my opinion. Still he was a great performer. No matter how many gyrations of his leather jockstrap Mr. Shears performed, I found my attention diverted to this boy (Del Marquis), who was just cute as a button, and ok, reminds me of my first boyfriend.

Anyway, because of the entertainment, I stayed as long as I could, but midconcert, I had to make my excuses. I had to get home to bed. I'm such an old now. It's sad. Thank goodness one of those big girls helped push the crowds for me, or I'd have never been able to get home.

I exitted to find the ticket girl preoccupied with a group of well dressed 60 year old German tourists who wanted to get in and could not understand that they couldn't. "What part of, 'you need a ticket' and they sold out' don't they understand????" She asked me frustratedly as she validated my parking. They sullenly walked out to the street mumbling obscenities in German.

I went to work the next early morning, still not able to hear, still smelling the pot from someone in front of me in my hair, feeling hung over on diet coke. I think I'm still recovering from the whole night, actually.
Good god, I'm a coot.

Apr 7, 2011

advanced style

watch and learn.

via jonno

Apr 6, 2011

prom season

overheard 7 a.m:
"Girl, I want my nails so long I won't be able to wipe."

"Yeah? What color you gettin'?"

"Well, beige don't look good wit a white gown. So, I dunno...sum'in erngee...or raid."

Apr 5, 2011

thought for the day


happy peenee!

So I've been happily visiting with the ever gracious Mr. Peenee while he visits his old haunts. Are you jealous? Because you should be.

I've been learning so much history about where to get a blow job back in the day my hometown that I just never knew! It's all been very informative. As you've probably guessed, Peenee is a raconteur of the first order. We and his lovely friend Rich had lunch at Commander's Palace on Sunday, where the waiter haughtily informed Peenee that the chef did not serve rice with their gumbo. "The chef considers it filler," he sniffed. Have you ever? Unheard of! Thankfully, he found himself some decent gumbo out in the Marigny last night. I was very relieved.

He seems to be doing the best thing New Orleans has to offer, eating fried food non stop. It's what passes for entertainment around here. Tonight, I took him to have a shrimp poboy and a Barq's. We got trapped there by a ferocious New Orleans thunderstorm, however. No problem, just another Barq's and some more gossip. Very lovely.

Anywho...it seems that today is our blessed Peenee's birthday. I hope he doesn't mind my announcing that. Please join me all in wishing him a good one.

(Image above courtesy of thombeau. It's the third google image when you type in "Mr. Peenee". I'd expected (hoped for) porn, but then maybe that's what this is after all.)

Here (below) is the cake one of peenee's lovable but simpleminded houseboys, Attila de Devereaux, cooked up for the occasion. I'd asked for a "sheet cake". Poor thing, his heart ass was in the right place at least, right?