Aug 5, 2011

envy

A while back, a friend of mine got a new job. I'd been hoping she'd get a job, so initially I was elated.

I still am elated actually. But I've also realized I'm a terrible, terrible, petty jealous person too.
Where did this come from? Ok, I guess it's always been here.

I mean I have a job.
I like my job (for the most part).
I certainly don't want her job.
I really don't.
So why, oh, why do I feel such envy?

I guess when I analyze it, (which is what I'm wont to do...about everything) what makes me maddest is that she didn't really have to do much work to get it...(grrr)....and it was very hard for me ...oh..and the fact that she's making more than I am, despite my having more experience.

The other day I wondered if it would make me happy if she actually lost her job, (I guess I'm evil like that), but it actually didn't.

I realized I would feel terrible for her and still guilty about having been envious in the first place. Either way, I'm screwed.
I can't even have a bit of schadenfreude fun.
WTF.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to exorcise this envy out....but damn if it's not hard.

6 comments:

designing wally said...

Not that I'm the type to talk....
But I prefer my jasons when they are jasons....
but don't listen to me; I'm clueless....

MJ said...

I just found out from a former colleague that at a former job, I could have made a lot more money if only I'd asked.

Nobody told me at the time and I didn't think to ask, assuming that it was the given rate.

I am currently trying not to let it bother me.

Joseph the Butler said...

and what did Mr Envy look like a couple of months ago--maybe he can help you out.

Kim Hambric said...

What? You're human? Jeez, who would have known?

Envy happens.

Margaret said...

Doris Day banging it out on the piano:

"Que Sera Sera..."

Sometimes if you quit, and get rehired for the same job, you get more money. Ain't that the pits?

Will said...

Just make sure that she pays for drinks the next time you go out (in appreciation for your emotional support and the fact that she is now making more money). Tell her that you need to drown Mr. Envy.