So, a few weeks ago, someone responded to my (now defunct) match.com ad.
It said:
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OK, SO HEAR IT GOES. THIS IS A LITTLE , WELL ALOT UNUSUAL FOR ME. I HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED ON LINE DATING OR ANYTHING OF THE KIND. BUT, MY FRIEND DORE AND I ARE SURFING AROUND JUST FOR FUN TODAY AND UP POPS YOUR FACE. FINDING IT HARD TO SCROLL PAST IT, I DECIDE, AFTER A LONG CONSULTATION WITH DORE, TO MAKE CONTACT. IN ORDER TO THIS I HAVE TO JOIN THE SITE. SO I AM HERE AND AM ONLY HERE TO SAY HI TO YOU. I HAVE NOT MADE A PROFILE SHEET YET, MOSTLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING.
YES I KNOW, NOT HAVING A PROFILE SHEET MEANS YOU HAVE NO PHOTOS TO LOOK AT, SO I WILL BE ON THAT AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT. BUT IN THE MEAN TIME. .....I AM ATHLETIC AND HAVE PLAYED FOOTBALL MY WHOLE LIFE. I AM 37 NOW AND ONLY PLAY ON A FLAG TEAM ON THE WEEKENDS. I HIKE COMPETITIVELY(SP) (AND AM NOT A GOOD SPELLER).
I HAVE TRAVELED THE WORLD HIKING, JUMPED OUT OF PLANES AND AM READY TO HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO VALUE THE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE LIKE FRIENDS AND GOOD RELATIONSHIPS. I AM VERY CLOSE TO MY FAMILY AND MY NEPHEW AND NIECE ARE THE CENTER OF MY WORLD. I SPEND ALOT OF TIME WITH THEM.
I AM NOT INTO THE CLUB SCENE AT ALL AND IN FACT HAVE NOT BEEN NEAR IT FOR A LONG LONG TIME. I STAY INSHAPE AND LIKE TO DO OUTDOOR THINGS. THE SOFA IS NICE, BUT ONLY FOR CUDDLING AND KISSING AND NOT FOR LIVING. I RUN SEVERAL ART GALLERIES ON ROYAL STREET AND ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND AM VERY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE.
OK , I REALIZE THIS IS LONG, BUT THE GOAL IS TO GET YOU TO EMAIL ME BACK, WHEN THE COMPETITION SEEM TO HAVE THIS PROFILE THING FIGURED OUT. SO I AM COMPETING AT HALF MAST HERE.
WELL, THERE IT IS, ALOT OF WORK FROM A GOOD GUY, JUST TO TALK TO YOU. SEEMS HARD TO PASS UP DOESN,T IT.
I,LL TRY TO HAVE THIS PROFILE THING DONE AS SOON AS I CAN. HOPE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU MY PERSONAL EMAIL IS-------- IF YOU WANT TO TRY THAT IN CASE I GET LOST IN PROFILE LAND AND HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET OUT. MAYBE I WILL TAKE SOME DRIED BREAD WITH ME JUST IN CASE .
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Ok, so I didn't fully read it because it was all in caps.
(I mean really. )
But eventually curiousity (boredom?) (frustration?) (all of the above?) got the best of me and I did read it....and eventually I did write back.
I didn't quite know what to say to this, of course, I mean what can *any*one say to all this???
But we've been corresponding off and on back and forth for a little while now...not quite a month or so.
About a week or so I gave him a call.
I was actually pleasantly surprised, in that he didn't seem to be as much as conceited as I imagined him to be. Of course, I could be wrong. He had a strong masculine voice which, I have to admit, was attractive.
I caught him in the midst of a America's Next Top Model-a-thon. He was laid up in bed because he had fractured his foot (just like I had in July!...but unlike me, it was while playing football, and not coming down the steps in flip flops.
Now, in case I weren't intimidated enough already, here are some quotes (paraphrased) from the conversation we had that night:
In response to jobs:
"I'm the guy who tore the projects down. I was ____________(insert official title here, which I forget) and spearheaded the tearing down and redevolopment of the projects."
"I got tired of the rat race. I was making lots and lots of money. I had the whole lifestyle."
"I ended up going to Cambodia. I joined the Buddhist monestary there for a few months. I came back with a different perspective...."
uh...ok.
"I went out to California. I was slated to be a contestant for Survivor Pearl Islands. I was in the final selection process, but didn't make it."
uh...ok.
So in between competitive hiking (wtf?), football playing, auditioning for Survivor, teaching art, running, owning galleries, he finds time to tear down the projects *and* join a Buddhist Monestary?
I made the mistake of telling him that I hate reality television....by the way...and the quarter, where he lives. He seemed to come around to my point on the Quarter, and we met somewhere in the middle on at least Project Runway.
Despite my mixture of intimidation, sneeringness, insecurity and horror....I'm attracted, I have to admit.
Early on, he sent me a photo of himself wearing a sweater I myself own. When asked about it, he said, "Oh, I guess so. I don't know, my mother buys most of my clothes. I'm hopeless about that"
*That* was enough to attract me to him there.
To sum it all up, I'm very conflicted about it all. And very nervous about my impending meeting with him.
I can only imagine that I will disappoint him horribly in person ....and he will rejoin the Buddhist monastery in Cambodia...and soon the projects will return too. And it'll all be my fault.
God help me.
Musical Monday: WHITE CHRISTMAS
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Darlings, it’s time once again for our annual Christmas tradition (now in
its 18th year, if you can believe it), the perennial “White Christmas,”
done up...
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