So today I had a date with a defrocked priest.
(not the first date I've had with a defrocked priest in my life, by the way)
A mutual friend called me a few days to set up a date with him.
As reluctant as I was, I accepted. What the hell, it's lunch, I figured. What else am I doing on a Tuesday at noon?
"And that whole pedophila thing was nothing...really!"
She assured me. "People are just out to get him, you know how people are."
I've never had anyone set me up on a date before. No one's ever offered. Whenever asked, the best anyone has ever said was "you really ought to just move out of this city."
I've always had to scrounge them up myself, so I figured I couldn't very well look a...ummm...gift horse in the...uh...mouth, right?
The thing about it is, however, that there was really no real work on her part. Within two minutes of the meeting I realized that she had pressured him into meeting me. It was clearly a favor he was doing for her. (Hell, I'm nearly his age...what would he want with me?)
Of course, she lied to me, saying that he "remembered me" from her mother's funeral (he was the priest officiating)...and "thought you was "attractive."
But naturally, when I went up to greet him, he didn't even know who I was.
"Are you Jason?"
Then he asked if we had ever met. No, he'd never seen me in his life.
Clearly he wasn't interested...which is fine, trust me.
I mean, trust me.
But she has delusions of us "dating" simply I think because it would just solve the problem of me not having a boyfriend for her (If that makes any sense.)
Her thought process was pretty simple:
"I have a gay friend A; I have gay friend B. Let's get A and B together and solve their problems. Simple as that"
The main thing I'm worried about now is how to coach her down from her excitement over this "love match"
Night Crumbs - Katie Holmes talks about her twangy West Virginia accent in Logan Lucky, saying she got it from a dialect coach. Was the dialect coach a scratched Britney ...