Jun 3, 2006
I want to go home
It's 2 am and I'm torturing myself again. I have a copy of Elle Decor before me, while I wait for the page to load (the joys of dial up) and on the screen before me,
the sad sight of New Orleans apartment listings. I'm swinging wildly between delusion and disappointment.
Since August, I've been living with my family. I've slept in 10 beds not my own in that time (one in the bed of a dead man).
I'm ready to go home. What "home" I don't know.
For the past month or so, I've been shunted off to sleep on the floor of my mother's house. My aunt, who recently lost her husband, and can't take care of herself, has been living with us. I'm not really complaining about her being here. She's really not that much of a problem, and she gives my mother something to talk to instead of me all the time (My mother talks a lot), but she also (like my mother) doesn't drive and needs constant attention. It's been a tiny bit more on the camel's back, you know.
Anyway, the gist of it is that I'm caught in a terrible limbo. I don't know what to do, but whatever I do do, I'm sure will be wrong. I'm very frustrated in every arena.
I am currently without a job. My job is in a strange limbo depending upon enrollment. In any event, I know I will be paid less than I was before, which was
very little, very. And FEMA...well, they've screwed me over big time.
So, here I am again at 2 pm looking on Craigslist for a place to live. I was spoiled by my old apartment, I think. I don't just want anything, you know? I'm grateful for the floor her at my mothers, which allows me not to take the fleabags I've seen so far, and I've seen some fleabags being offered out there, believe me.
Nice places less than 1000 dollars seem impossible to find....and who can afford that????
And now the landlords have a racket going in which they want a fee for them to check your credit. 25 dollars or so, just to look at a place, huh?
I know I'm certainly not alone in this predicament here. Naively, I'd thought it would get easier as time went on (you know, students leaving uptown for summer, more places fixed by now....) but it hasn't.
I don't know how it will work itself out, or not, but all I know is I just want to go home.