Feb 8, 2014

Movie Review Haiku (part two)

Here are a few movies I've recently seen, randomly

American Hustle

1. review in haiku:

Disco wigs in love,
Abscam-era decolletage,
Somewhat kinda true.

2. best part:
Amy Adams....and her 70s cleavage.

3. worst part:

4. cute boy report:
Dreamy Jack Huston
(I refuse to consider Bradley Cooper to be "sexy"....sorry.  Though his perm was FLAWLESS, I have to admit.  It deserves an Oscar)

5. final grade:


August, Osage County

1. review in haiku:

Dysfunction, Oklahoma.

2. best part:

Meryl Streep talking shit like a champ.

3. Worst part:

That whole stupid "forbidden southern gothic romance" with "a twist" nonsense.

4.cute boy report:
 Julia Roberts?
(Just kidding).

No, it's obviously Ewan McGregor, looking like the hottest English Professor ever, y'all.

(oh my god.  never have I wanted to be a pair of khakis in my life)

5. final grade:


Kill Your Darlings

1. review in haiku:

Ginsberg (with hair) meets
Gay Poets Society.
Boring "decadence"

2. best part:

Harry Potter's perm

3. Worst part:


4.cute boy report:
 Little Daniel Radcliff is completely adorable.

5. final grade:



The Wolf of Wall Street

1. review in haiku:

Coked up Gatsby
Jonah Hill masturbating.
Nobody needs that.

2. best part:

This scene:

3. Worst part:
See haiku ^

4.cute boy report:

5. final grade:


Diane said...

I got to see Little Daniel Radcliffe naked on stage in London (gah, how I love getting to say that); he IS rather adorable.

normadesmond said...

the balcony is open!

Who you callin' housewife? said...

Have yet to see any of these. The haiku is quite motivating, though. And the sight of a cute boy/man is good for everyone.

Anonymous said...

not sure if your "coked up gatsby" is 5 syllables long? shame on you!

jason said...

touche, dear anonymous.
You are quite right.
Make that "Coked up Jay Gatsby" then.

(of course, had it been "Coked up Gay Gatsby," then I'd have been first in line to see it.)