May 31, 2012

and now for a musical interlude

Or quaalude

gracias juan

May 30, 2012

grey porn

Today at the library, I had to wait for a little old lady with a sensible lesbian/nun haircut from the 1970s and off lavender Haband pants to get off the goddamned computerized card catalog thingie already, pleeeeease.
So I could use it.

I circled around a few times and came back.

Finally she was gone.
I got to the screen to see what she'd been so diligently looking for :


Sadly for her, there were no copies...and the best they could seem to do was to point her to Roald Dahl's tales from Childhood.
Cruel, cruel fate.

Wilma Burgess

"Wilma Burgess (born Wilma Charlene Burgess June 11, 1939) was an American country music singer. She rose to fame in the mid 1960s and charted fifteen singles on the Billboard C&W charts between 1965 and 1975.                                      
Burgess opened a bar called The Hitching Post – described as Nashville’s first women-only bar – where she regularly performed. Burgess was openly a lesbian and preferred to record love songs with no gender-specific references. She did sometimes agree to record songs such as “Ain’t Got No Man” on condition that her producer Owen Bradley let her record a song she liked but he didn’t. Wilma Burgess died unexpectedly Monday, August 26, 2003... after suffering a massive heart attack. She was 64, and had been hospitalized for a week for tests, and had seemed to be on the road to recovery."
via the wonderful sissydude

May 29, 2012

May 27, 2012

Things that actually exist (part deux)

Toilet paper holder, unused (practically) roll of toilet paper included. (@ Goodwill)

The Gilda Radner Cut out doll book.  (@ Symphony book fair)


Framed Lance Bass snapshot...with assorted other NSync paraphenalia. (@ Red White and Blue) Did his only fan just die? Tragic.  
Your very own Ms Magazine tote. (@Bloomingdeals)
K and B  Carts! (@ the Smithsonian {well, should be})
The Boddhisattva Mickey. (@ International Market).WTF  
Hello Kitty's gay brother: Heeeeey, gurl Kitty? (@HongKong Market)

Vermont Curry (@ HongKong Market) Vermont?

Kewpie Mayonnaise (@ Hong Kong Market). The perfect toy.

"Freedom" Tortilla Chips (@ World Market)  For your next Cinquo De Mayo Tea party.
The Leather Journal: 25th anniversary issue. And they say print is dead. (@ chez John)

Spam Macadamia nuts (@ World Market)

Steak (@ The Dollar Tree, yes, you read that right, Dollar Tree Steak)

May 24, 2012


I don't know about the rest of y'all, but in the past couple of months, my poor little blog continues to be spammed by who knows what: Chinese poet robots, it seems.
It's getting to be exhausting.
This is the most common of their comments. 

"Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "16 things learned while in Florida":

The past two weeks, the seedlings Fifi yet dwelling as a cusine hall, on occasion to stroke this meals. Even so, seedlings Fifi is also pretty atmospheric, will certainly asked Chuang a good dinner, not one but two persons really like at the man on the whole, and produced Viagra all the time a pair of folks along, tend to be shouted debauchery." 

It is as inscrutable as old Cathay itself.

May 22, 2012

times is hard

So it seems no one gets a raise this year.
The most we ever got was 500 dollars added on to our "salary" each year anyway.
But still, it sucks.
I guess the PTA felt sorry for us, 'cause today they gave us each a 5 dollar gift certificate...
to Popeyes.
cha ching!
Guess I can't complain after all.

May 20, 2012

A walk to the P.O.

I had to drop my rent check in the mail today....and I need the exercise, so I took a short walk to the post office. Wanna come with me?

On the way out, the smell of pot is thick in the hall way.
What's this? Gosh, all these people on the bayou.  Wtf
Oh, it's the Boogaloo. Again?
No wonder there are so many white people around.

I love a parasol. I wish I had one. Damn it's hot out here.  But I know, boys can't carry parasols.
I just ate, but crab beignets?
No, I ought not to. Let me get to the PO.
Lesbians. Wouldn't be midcity without the lesbians.
Horrible white people music.  Let's keep walking.

White people art. Let's keep moving.

Wow...doesn't this look like a Seurat??
 Let me take a picture.

Let it go, hippies. Let it go.


"Pressed Crab poboy with brie and candied bacon"?
Too much.
OMG. so cute...
OMG *so* badly dressed.
Sad sad sad.

Wouldn't be midcity without the aging hippies.

No comment

Oh, dammit, leave me alone!  Ok ok.
  Shrimp remoulade and fried green tomato poboy.
What I'm watching while eating.
Mardi gras indian for"atmosphere"

Why's a parasol stand!
But boys can't have parasols.


May 19, 2012

Overheard today, 2 p.m.

"Thank you, baby. I gots to get me some air. It too hot in there, you know?"

(Tiny old black lady tells me at the thrift store today.
I'm holding open the door for her.  She's buttoning up a blouse at the exit. The saleslady is glaring.
The old lady has a beautiful set of teeth, a lanyard printed with "Jesus Loves You" around her neck... and 5 curly white whiskers on her chin)

 "You need fresh air when you 92 like me.  When you 92 like me, you need fresh air"

(I smile)

"You gotta be thankful for what you got and what you will get," 

me: "yep"

"When you 92 you gots to be thankful for what you get."

me: "yes, maam. You're right."

I help her down the stair.
She walks on slowly to the Dollar General....totally shop lifting that blouse.

May 17, 2012

Last dance

RIP Sweet Donna.

Truly heartbroken.

1978, an Italian Space Disco Odyssey

 This is just too wonderful not to repost.

Oh, and if you haven't already, get yourself over to Thom's ever fabulous Redundant Variety Hour, tout suite, baby.

May 16, 2012

Book Lots

Recently, while at Big Lots, I could barely maneuver my cart full of recently expired Italian potato chips (no, really...the sapore di paprika is the bomb)  for the bins and bins of books in every other aisle.  This is where literature comes to die. And dying it is.
Here are a few of the celebrity tomes available:

Blazin' a trail right on down to the discount bin. Ha ha

More pornography  for Reagan fetishists.

Apparently her uterus can write. Who knew

Do what? I'm scared to ask.

Remember her?

More for the Reagan era fetishists, I'm sure.
Remember her?

I caught the 60 something white male manager sneaking a peak at this one while straightening up the pile.

How did this person manage to get a book deal? Are there Jay Mohr "fans"? If so, I don't want to live in this world.
"Starting over" what? Her face?

Ok, so I almost bought this one. Gay.

May 14, 2012


"This ad has been matched to your interests. It was selected for you based on your browsing activity. Epsilon helped The Swiss Colony determine that you might be interested in an ad like this."

Every time I visit Facebook, I see that their crack team of robots have strategically determined which targeted ads to flash at me.
I honestly had no idea Swiss Colony even still existed, did you?!
But I guess they have me pegged, don't they?
I don't understand.  Perhaps there's some cached record of an old search for porn? It's gotta be porn, right? Swiss Logs? It's always porn. Who knows.
 Anyway, so I clicked....only to find a wonderland frozen in time.

 Did you know that there was  a Swiss Colony Electronics section.

Perhaps you'd like a computer "mouse"... For all you tech savvy types.
Or, from their Fashion section a dream catcher/wolf tee shirt
Or maybe from their jewelry section (no, really) a stylish money clip/watch combo (not even from Switzerland).